‘In the darkest days of grief, it can feel like you will never ever get over your loss, let alone have a life again. Your heart is aching so much. The pain is so immense, and you can’t focus on anything. You probably do not believe that your emotional hell could ever be transformed into a life full of new meaning, love, and depth. I certainly didn’t. My journey may reflect similarities to yours; it was tough, painful, and at some points meaningless. After the initial shock, I tried so many ways to help myself, but I seemed to go off on many unhelpful tangents. Finally, I found a way through that changed everything. A gentle, comforting, empowering way through and that is what this book is all about.
My aim is to help you so you won’t have to experience any of those unhelpful tangents, which only hindered my grieving process. If you are experiencing your own dark days, feelings of being in a dense fog, numbness, deep sorrow, heartache or any other way the emotional hell of loss is expressing itself, then this is the book for you. It is a hand for you to hold, a guiding light through the seemingly unbearable days and a companion through your own unique grief. I am one of those people mentioned in the quote above, but having experienced my own sadness of loss I am now in a position to be there for you in the form of this book.
May I welcome you to Joy Beyond Grief. I wish I could be introducing myself to you under better circumstances than the loss of a loved one. Firstly, I would like to offer my deepest and most sincere condolences. I would also like to reach out and offer some help for as long as you need during this time of excruciating pain. The pain of loss is immeasurable and although everybody’s pain is different, I can walk with you along your own path, offering guidance to a place of peace. Dare I say at this point in the book that – yes, I will – I shall take you beyond peace to a place of joyful transformation. I understand that may seem impossible for you to comprehend at this moment in time, particularly if you are grief-stricken and your loss is very raw, but please let me assure you there is a light at the end of your dark tunnel. I know, because I’m in that light now and even if you can’t even see a tiny glimmer at this moment in time, it is there. Together we shall take one small step at a time towards it.
Why I wrote this book
I decided to write this book for several reasons, but mainly because I have a deep passion to help those who are suffering and struggling with the debilitating effects of grief. Why the deep passion? Because of my own experience of loss, the pain, and the experiences that followed. I feel the help for those affected by a loss is seriously lacking ¬– not many people know how to help those grieving. Family and friends often don’t know what to say or do, and professionals such as doctors and counsellors who are well intended often do not have enough time or meaningful resources to truly help those who are grieving. I hope this book goes some way to address that. Having been on the receiving end of ‘not so helpful help’, I found several tools, and used a few of my own, which went a long way to lift me out of my grief. Not only did my pain subside but gradually my life was transformed. I have seen how my simple yet effective tools and techniques have helped not only myself but hundreds, if not thousands, of grieving clients I have worked with.
Who is this book for?
I have written this book for you if you have recently lost a loved one and your pain is still very raw. It is also for you if some time has passed and you are still struggling to cope with your loss. If it has been many years since your loss but things are still painful, or you are experiencing any physical issues since your loss, then please keep reading. This book is also for you if feel you are over a loss, but things still don’t feel right on some level.
If you have lost your partner, mother, father, sister, brother, or you may have lost your child, your grandparent, your aunt, your uncle ... this book is for you. It might be your niece or nephew, it might be your best friend, a work colleague, a neighbour ... whomever you have lost, I offer help to you in the pages of this book. Whether your loss took the form of a terminal illness or whether your loss came suddenly without warning, this book offers guidance and comfort from my heart to yours.’