Fit 2 Love

Introduction

“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” Byron Katie

It’s a beautiful, warm, sunny day in Los Angeles, and I have just arrived at a local gym to train one of my clients. It’s business as usual as I walk in the door and head to the stretching area to meet my appointment, until I stop dead in my tracks and look around the room; I notice a strange energy in the air.
Today seems different.
As I look around the midsize gym, I see a few famous actors who are wearing their sunglasses while they workout. Celebrity sightings are common, and the locals know to leave them alone, but today, for some strange reason, I can’t stop staring at them.
Are they afraid that people will come up to them? Do they not realize that we know who they are and that they call more attention to themselves by wearing sunglasses in the gym? Or maybe, they secretly want to be noticed so they try to look cool, yet uninterested.
If they want attention, they are not alone.
Heavy breathing across the room from the trainers who are power lifting catches my attention. Intense physical work needs a greater amount of oxygen than a normal workout and maybe even some sound, but I am not the only one noticing that they are putting on a show. Heavy weights being thrown on the floor, lots of shouting and almost screaming fills the corner of the gym where the dumbbell rack resides.
As I look toward the machine circuit, I see a few female trainers wearing next to nothing. How does baring it all correlate to their knowledge and skill as a trainer? They look around the room to see who is checking them out, while my concern is for their client with the heavy weights in their hands. The female trainers seem more interested in the attention than being present and attentive.
The vibe in the air is so thick and uncomfortable; I can almost smell and taste it. What is it? Ah, yes, it is insecurity. You could step into almost any gym and witness this scene for yourself on any given day, but today is the day I can’t ignore it any longer. I can actually feel many people working out as if their life depended upon it. I can hear them saying to themselves, I have to look perfect or no one will love me. I have to look perfect or no one will hire me. I can sense competition, comparing, judgment, and fear. This is probably why I have not been training in gyms for a long time because the vibe makes me sad.
There are three things in life that people spend a great deal of time, money, and effort to achieve: love, health, and money. Are you single and looking for love? Do you desire a better relationship from your partner and even yourself? Do you struggle with weight loss and body issues? If you have said yes to just one of these questions, then you will be delighted because this book was created to help you achieve love and security through fitness and health.

The Love of Your Life is You
To love yourself means believing in your own worthiness, as well as caring for every facet of your life. Without loving yourself first, you set up a rollercoaster of dependency upon other people to make you feel good. Just like with any substance addiction, the search for love to fulfill us can spiral out of control and cause unnecessary heartache. There is another way.
There is no other set of words as perfect about self-love than the poem Our Deepest Fear, which inspires me to tears every time I read it. It’s by Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

How I Got Here

I have been in the fitness industry for over 15 years and started out the way every trainer is supposed to, by taking classes and getting certified. For most trainers, that’s all there is to it. I always want to go deeper, learn more, and discover the infamous truth behind it all.
Before becoming a trainer, I was a performer. As a singer, dancer, and actor, I studied human behavior and motivation through relationships created on stage and screen. I was interested in the study of people, which is why I studied acting. I learned more about myself and my own psychology, religion, politics, and history through one of my acting classes at NYU in 1992 than I did in traditional school. It was an amazing experience to be able to look through someone else’s eyes, the character, and see life from a different perspective. It gave me such insight and helped me to look inside myself in a different way. I was hooked.