Returning to Love
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"Hurry honey I see the Light, Come kiss me bye I have to go, Bye, Baby I love you."These are the last words my husband spoke to me on his eighty-second birthday as we were getting ready for his last party.
It had been a long journey for Richard and me but we both learned lessons of strength, love, forgiveness and most importantly the enlightenment needed to release the fear of death. This is a journal of our love and living with Richard’s Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, Prostate cancer and Congestive Heart Failure. I have Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and I am relating the coping mechanisms I used to deal with Richard's transition and the transition of my Mom nine months before Richard. Once you come to accepting the fact that no matter how positive your thoughts the healing for your loved one may be a healing of their soul and not their body, then you and your love one can walk their path together. Our support can make your loved one’s transition peaceful and loving. As you help them to lose their fear of dying, you will learn of the beauty and love awaiting them in Heaven. This will aid in your healing when your loved one transitions to Heaven.
There will be sadness and tears will flow because they are gone and not physically with you anymore. You can find strength and peace in knowing that the care you gave allowed your loved one to die with dignity surrounded by love and support and without fear.
I Blogged for two years about Living with Alzheimer's and A Caregiver's Thoughts. This is an excerpt: It is so sad to watch the denial of losing the self, what one used to be and refusing to accept what is. It is also hard to maintain the level of acceptance and spiritual calm attained by myself regarding this whole situation. It brings the spirit into the control of the ego and fear begins to take over. Fear brings depression and regrets of loss of bodily functions and of not being able to touch without pain.
I try very hard to stay on the spirit side and know that these are not the most important of things. It is the connection of the spirit and the love felt that is reality not this frailty of body and mind. However, it is so hard to watch the decline and the refusal to accept that which he talked about daily even when he was able and not feel ambivalent and angry and sad and fearful and overwhelmed and yet know that this is the path I agreed to and am to show him that there is no fear in death and only love awaits at the end of his journey. I am not as patient as I should be especially when he refuses to accept he can't do something and even more when he can do something but refuses to do it because he wants sympathy and attention. It is a fine line or a very narrow path as a wise man of spirit once said to follow that which we know we are here to do no matter the circumstances with love and forgiveness at all times.
I try only to think of the positive things I can do once I am alone but there are times that I think of how empty this house will be one day soon. How will I handle that and what I will do with myself? Will I have a self-left to wonder about?
Death is but an illusion, a single thought lost in the vastness of an unending eternity and the only act of the single mind that reconnects us to a never ending Universe of One.
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About the Book
“Hurry, honey, I see the light. I have to go. Come kiss me bye. Bye, baby, I love you.” These are the last words my husband said to me when he transitioned. It had been a long and tortuous path to enlightenment. He got to see into heaven three weeks before he transitioned. He could not believe the love. We both learned life lessons and grew spiritually.
It had been a long journey for Richard and me, but we both learned lessons of strength, love, forgiveness, and, most importantly, the enlightenment needed to release the fear of death. This is a journal of our love and living with Richard’s Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, prostate cancer, and congestive heart failure. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, and I am relating the coping mechanisms I used to deal with Richard’s transition and the transition of my mom nine months before Richard.
The journey taken by those who are caregivers is a lonely one at times. Coming to an acceptance is as hard for the caregiver and family and friends as it is for the one you love—accepting the fact that no matter how positive your thoughts, the healing for your loved one may be a healing of his or her soul and not of the body. Then you and your loved one can walk his or her path together. Your support can make your loved one’s transition peaceful and loving. As you help loved ones to lose their fear of dying, you will learn of the beauty and love awaiting them in heaven. This will aid in your healing when your loved ones transition to heaven.
There will be sadness, and tears will flow because they are gone and not physically with you anymore. You can find strength and peace in knowing that the care you gave allowed your loved ones to die with dignity surrounded by love and support and without fear.
About the Author
Sharon is a RN who has witnessed patients transition. I have witness who had transitioned and been resuscitated. Each told the same story about the light and heaven.
Sharon had to retire early because of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The blessing of this was that she took care of her husband for five years after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. He also had Prostate Cancer, Congestive Heart Failure and an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. He had a tortuous journey from diagnosis to enlightenment and transition. They both grew spiritually. Had she not been disabled she would have had to place Richard in a nursing home to transition alone instead of having his family at his bedside.
Sharon now lives in Hampton, TN with her very wonderful, special loving significant other. She considers him to be her gift from the Universe for all her years of caring for her husband. Her wonderful man definitely takes good care of her. She has two wonderful, loving, caring, independent and responsible children. They are and always have been the best gift from the Universe she has ever received. Sharon would like to thank Blake and Brooke for choosing her as their mother. They are both married to their soul mates, who are as wonderful as Blake and Brooke are. Sharon also has her first grandchild Jaxon who she babysit for two days a week. He is the happiest and loving baby. She is continuing her spiritual growth through Healing Touch classes and meditation. Sharon is Certified in Meditation and Pain Assessment and Management. She will soon be Certified in Healthy Aging.