Changing the Gift

‘The Gift’

I want to create a life that feels wonderful, no matter what’s happening around me. How do I feel about my life right now? These days, no matter what’s going on, I’ve learned to look for the gift in me. It was always there I just never saw it. I wasn’t always this positive. If you’d asked me to describe my life, I would have told you that it was something that I had to get through, it wasn’t supposed to be fun, that I had to work hard, do to my best, and just roll with the punches. At the time I was working with seniors, and was hitting the bottom of a depression, which I had probably had since I was a child. When I was in that place in my life, everything felt as if it was unfair. Many times I wondered why I was wired this way, and why was I having such a tough time with my life, when everyone else seemed to be doing just fine? I never imagined that my depression would turn out to be one of the greatest gifts of my life. Indeed by bringing me to my knees it would lead me to the most important moment of my life. When things get desperate, as happens to many of us, terrifying even, this will often open the door to life-changing creativity, and miracles. If it weren’t for that unwelcome, terrible situation, that door would never have opened for me. Just before that door opens, things can seem very dark. There were times I couldn’t go to work, and my pain became visible to those around me. Seeing my suffering a senior said to me, ”I want you to think about what you really want to do with your life.” I had never considered that- I just did what others said was best for me, or what other people around me were doing. At that moment, everything in my life- present, past and future stood still. It was if heaven cracked open and filled my life with hope, something I hadn’t felt for a very long time. On the first night that I met this person tears sprang from in my eyes. I experienced a glimmer of hope. I remembered all the joy; passion and creativity that are part of life, every day, and resolved to bring them back. Now, when I tell the story of what happened after my first lesson with this wonderful person, I sometimes feel like I’m talking about some other person than me. I think to myself, “How can it be, that that first lesson with this person could have had such a remarkable impact on me”.
I made a new start. The turn took me into lessons I learned from a life coach, a wellness expert, and an inspirational speaker. I often joke that I’m actually not even that great at what I’m doing. I just do it with all the unexpressed passion of that little girl that covered up her feelings for so long. I think it’s that which explains why so many doors opened for me, in this totally unexpected work, and why I have been able to connect with so many people. I never in a million years imagined that one day I would write a book. It’s true when they say, “Do what you love, and the miracles will follow”. Whenever people ask me what my best advice for them is, I encourage them to think of something that they always wanted to do, or used to love to do, or is missing from their life, and just start again. You won’t believe the places that those small steps may take you to. Just follow your heart where it wants to go, and you’ll step into the life that’s been waiting for you, all along.
The journey hasn’t always been easy for me, and I learned my optimism along the way. Living the way I did as a little girl, had a huge impact on me. Now life is a very spiritual, hopeful place, despite the hardships I faced for so many years. Life now has now more value to me with my family, love, spiritual faith, and enjoying the gift that each day brings to me. I have learned that everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, it’s al good. To see all lives events as exquisitely designed, no matter how difficult or painful they may appear on the surface. Now I make it a daily goal not to let negative news or circumstances disrupt me from what matters most. That way, when things eventually turn out just fine, I no longer look back and regret having wasted so much time crying, worrying or complaining. Living a positive, miracle- filled life isn’t something that just happens to certain lucky people. A positive life and all its benefits are mine for the taking, if I simply decide that that’s how I’m going to live. No matter how habitually negative I am, I can change. If I think being cheerful and optimistic is an unrealistic, way to live, I do it for my health and success. I decided that no matter what life throws my way, I would focus on the good. If I look for it, I will find it. Instead of focusing on the one negative frustrating thing that happened to me today, I will look back on my days and observe all the wonderful, small joys that paved my hours with quiet abundance. I’ll take the lessons from every tough thing that happens to me, and use what I have learned to create a wiser, more fulfilling life. In this way, life will always be getting better. Now I find time for, and celebrate, the things that create my best health and happiness: family, friends, laughter, and love. And I remember to always keep my eyes on the gifts I have.