Odes from a Cluttered Mind Vol. II

THE TRUTH SEEKER I was born to be a truth seeker Although I didn't know it at the time I didn't learn my fate till I was grown Learning my destiny while well in my prime All I knew was that I was disliked and abused By those who were supposed to love me I was insulted, taunted, beat and harassed Till suicide was an idea I thought would be my reality Although I was depressed and mistreated Not one family member tried to help or defend me I was left to fend for myself Folks just thought I was crazy so they let me be Looking back I realize I was different So when you're different you are feared Yet all the time I was watching and listening And questioning how I was being reared Since no one wanted to pay attention To anything I had to say And no one cared what I was about It was like hell trying to get through each day I was left with a tyrant of a grandmother Whom everyone was afraid to confront It was every man for himself it would seem And I being low on the totem pole, was considered a runt I was called names too rude to repeat And showed no respect at all Although I treated everyone well All I could do was hide behind the coats in the hall Time spent wondering why I was so hated I too began to think I was wrong This couldn't be my family, I would ponder So then where did I belong? I would immerse myself in my religion Which confused me even more All the people who were so mean to me Professed to be religious to the core All I could do was keep praying and watching And soon began getting messages from a voice inside I felt more alone than ever with a secret I had to keep With no one to talk to—no one in whom to confide It wasn't until in my mid twenties That I was finally able to make a life of my own Although grown and working I still did their bidding I loved them although to me love was not shown It was years before I came to realize The harm they had done to me By then most of them had passed on Still revered in my mind, as I could see Because I had no social skills Kept alone, submissive, and humble The outside world treated me the same as my family had As through one bad union after another I'd stumble The voices in my head kept sending messages I refused to acknowledge out of fear Fearing they were from my insane youth I resolved not to listen—not to hear But they seemed to come from someone who cared For the first time something was trying to help I didn't understand it but it comforted me And whatever it was, it was good, so I felt I soon learned it was Spirit and I was being prepped I would soon be challenged and tested It wasn't easy, but my life never had been So on the Path I was till I'd be vested With each test I'd pass I'd receive a new a gift-- A healing, a blessing, something to believe in People now listen, realizing I'm not different, but special Where they are going and trying to get, I have been I have wisdom—answers to questions Questions that have long plagued man I know the truth and I'll share it In a way that man can understand Yes, it was worth it, every struggle, every wound All the tears, all the torment, the angst and the pain Yes, I'd do it again to get to the truth To share with other seekers who have much to gain Dedicated to those on the Path SuniMiniPaw 10/19/13 BELIEF The secret to blessings is believing And the secret to believing is trust Spirit works best when you believe in it In fact, belief and trust are a must Spirit Guides beg to be used They are here for us –waiting to be called Once we ask for their help, we must trust And we will be tested until trust is installed How exciting once one realizes how belief works How simple the practice is So simple it's taught to children Yet, once mastered, one feels like a whiz Children can be expected to believe Yet, as adults, believing is too simple a concept Foolish, we'd be called if anyone knew Yet I never felt foolish at all with the precept If one asked for something and felt deserving Then one would trust that it would be given So simple, so basic, that even I, a doubting Thomas Can master trusting, especially once it is proven If you know you are loved and deserving And that spirit is here on your behalf Then it's easy to believe your best interest is at heart As you grab hold with both hands to life's staff Dedicated to those who believe SuniMiniPaw 10/26/13 CHEMTRAILS Look up at those strange graffiti lines in the sky Look up and hope that nothing drops in your eye What are they doing—what does it all mean? What are they spraying—us it would seem Such a distraction that no one bothers to see Why do we allow it, say nothing, the spray is the key They're out to get us or am I just paranoid? How come it just bothers me—those lines in the void? Stay inside, cover your head, your children your pet If the lines mean nothing then why do I fret? What falls on our heads—what seeps thru our brain What mars our heavens, barely leaving a stain Why aren't people angered, why don't they complain? What is in the chem-trails—what do they contain? Do the sprays cause Alzheimer’s, our cancers, our pain? Do they cause our stress, mental illness, what is to gain? Are they used to control us, to keep us in line? Yet, drive us insane at the same time? Will wearing a hat help shield and protect What can we do—very little I bet We're pawns in a game that we know we can't play Manipulated and toyed with, used merely as prey Dedicated to all us prey SuniMiniPaw 10/10/2013 CRY I CRY for the children who die in the street I CRY for the mothers who lie at their feet I CRY for the planet that's changing for the worst I CRY for Mother Nature who was here first I CRY for mother earth who's tried hard to provide I CRY for our Creator who struggles to get man to abide I CRY for the soldiers who sacrifice for us in good stead I CRY for our lawmakers who control us with dread I CRY for the rich who are convinced their money buys all I CRY for the poor who because of the wealthy are made to feel small I CRY for the ignorant who will never be blessed with good sense I CRY for the mean and judgmental who care little for consequence I CRY at the thought of what this world will become I CRY for those who take their own lives, who are forced to succumb I CRY for the generations to follow—for the world they inherit I CRY for the people that now rule without merit I CRY for respect and love and honor, all of which seem to be lost I CRY at last for the goodness of life, which seems lost at all cost Dedicated to those who are lost SuniMiniPaw 11/21/13