Self-Love

Introduction

The purpose of this book is to help those who need to overcome the effects of their past or the problems occurring in their current situation while offering an opportunity to heal and allow more self-love. Oftentimes, we may think that it’s our thoughts or beliefs that bring about chaos in our lives. In actuality, it’s usually our early circumstances and how we feel about them that brings problems into our lives. Many of those old feelings are triggered by present events, incidents, or people. Of course we cannot control how others speak to us, treat us, or what they may attempt to do, however, we can control our reactions and responses. We can choose to experience internal peace no matter the external environment. Knowing the source of our true feelings -- whether negativity, fear, anger, sadness, or animosity -- is the key to controlling unwanted emotional responses and reactions. This book was Divinely inspired. It took me a few years to complete the project because I kept running from it. I was too fearful, timid, and insecure to move forward. I tried everything to avoid completing this story. A lot of excuses were because revisiting the past was painful, but I also had a hard time facing my own feelings of not being worthy enough to move forward in my life and always needing the approval of those around me. But I also knew that there were many other people who were feeling similar to me.

What I would like for readers to understand is that this story is ultimately one of triumph. This book is filled with knowledge about abuse and overcoming abusive situations. It is also filled with insights into how to better integrate the situations, issues, and circumstances that one has had to endure. I would like for readers to understand that the suggestions offered in this book worked for me, and it is my wish that you are somehow affected in a positive way as well. Although I do talk about my spirituality, it is not for people to take on, but rather it is a way of connecting to the Divine Source, whatever that means to you.

Please understand that this story is not about revenge, exposing family secrets, or retaliation. It is about love and forgiveness, and about understanding how past situations affect our current lives. Ultimately, it is about how to release those earlier experiences as well as current ones in order to live a happy, harmonious, peaceful, successful life. I love my parents, my stepfather as well as the rest of my family, friends, and associates. Love is the core, and rediscovering love required that I find the courage to change my life.

As a young adult in my mid-twenties, I started searching for answers as to what made me the woman I was. I had many issues with self-esteem, lack of confidence, people-pleasing, insecurities, and a broken heart. When I was around twenty-five, I began gaining greater spiritual understanding. I started to see a way out of the life that I had at the time. I had so many questions about my life and my future. I couldn’t understand why I had so many fears. I didn’t understand why I stayed in a long-term relationship, knowing the person I was with wasn’t the right one for me. I couldn’t understand why the doors did not open up for me to leave a job that did not bring me a sense of fulfilment or joy. I started reflecting on my life events up to that time. I realized that I was holding on to all of the issues and beliefs that I’d taken on as a child, growing up in a house of violence and abuse.

Sadly, my early story is one that many people will be able to relate to. There are many children who are growing up in households where there is violence and abuse in many forms. Many children witness abuse as well as being abused. We have to wonder how the situations that such children are exposed to affect them developmentally, mentally, physically, and emotionally? What happens to these children as they mature? How are they to get the support they need to heal and cope with their issues?

This story is not only for those who have lived through domestic violence. It is for everyone. The domestic violence part is my story, and out of this particular experience I have identified methods for change and for overcoming the negative aspects of the past. This approach to transformation can be employed by anyone who is holding on to stuff, and needs motivation or the courage to let go of it, to forgive and understand what the issues are and how to move forward with new empowerment. Making transformation a reality requires that each individual goes inside in order to externalize those negative situations and the words that have been passed on and then inherited as a legacy. Once those hidden forces are brought to light, people can begin to move into the light and to transform the old “what was” into a new “what is.” We begin to tell a new story.

It is my intention to write a book that inspires others and then teaches them to live that inspiration. If I could surmount the things that were weighing me down, I know that anyone can. It is my intention to provide tools for releasing/forgiving, coping, bringing empowerment and courage to the forefront, guiding one to have the hope and ambition sparked from within to transition from the old and into the new. This book is very much for you -- you who are ready.

I in no way intend to bring down my family, only to tell my story, holding the intention that it can bring about positive change and healing for all who read it. Remember that everyone has his or her story to tell. Only you know how you feel and what is best for you. Hopefully, this book will bring about healing to many people, including my own family.

Writing this book has been therapeutic for me as well. This book has helped me to heal the relationships with my parents. I am grateful for this. I no longer walk around with a heart that is heavy with sadness, confusion, defensiveness, fear, resentment, or anger. While writing this book, my maternal grandmother died, and it was a challenging time for our family. She was like a second mother to me, and I love her and the life that she lived. I am so grateful for all of the wonderful memories and the love that she gave me..

I love my family, and I am grateful for my life and my experiences. Out of this big love, I am able to share my journey; this is my gift to the world. I am here on my path to bring about change; I hold out the hope to embrace faith and break negative cycles. I had the ambition to change my life, furthering my education and to do something different. I desired to have a new life, and to pursue this new life. For these things and more, I have gratitude. I am thankful for all blessings and lessons. I embrace joy. To embrace the joy, I had to embrace change. My vision included Courage, Hope, Ambition, New Life, Gratitude, Embracing joy -- the ingredients of C.H.A.N.G.E. It is my hope that this book will help everyone who reads it to heal their lives to some degree and move forward with love, peace, forgiveness, and compassion.

So, if you’re ready to break cycles and make some positive changes in your life, turn the page, let’s do this together. Let’s allow the doors for positive shifting, healing, releasing, empowerment, and transformation to bust open. Allow the healing to embrace more self-love as you are already perfect as you are! Let’s start now.