My Year Off Men
What Happened When I Took a Year Off the Search for a Man to Search Within
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Tell me if this sounds familiar. I’ve done it time and time again, and maybe you have too: I have awesome girlfriends, get a boyfriend, lose touch with girlfriends, and lose myself. Then, when the relationship ends, I can’t remember what I used to love to do, because I have adopted the things he loved to do. I feel so lost and hopeless because I’m alone again, with no idea how to make myself happy. Worse, I have fewer friends and I can’t remember why I was so great in the first place. I didn’t want to keep repeating this pattern, so I decided it was time to make some changes. First, I started to notice the clues. I learned that a good way to know if I’m losing myself as the center of my world is if I have never liked football, hunting, skeet shooting, or watching hockey, but am doing all these things. If this is occurring in my life, chances are high I have melted into my man and am starting the disappearing process, again. When I see myself being knocked off my center, I can stop the process by asking myself, What do I love to do? What is important to me? And who am I on my own? If I answer these questions and stay true to me, from here on out I will be aware of when I am slipping into the man abyss. My Year off Men (MYOM) showed me the answers to these very personal questions. I had just suffered another heartbreak at the hands of a man I envisioned growing old with, and I decided I needed to take some time away from men and relationships to focus on myself. Thanks to MYOM, I see that we had nothing in common but each other, and that I totally became who he wanted me to be and not who I needed to become for myself. Now, when I get involved with another man, I am able to recognize when I start to drop out of orbit to circle around his world instead of my own. When I see this now, I can quickly reestablish my own personal gravity and get back to my center.
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About the Book
In My Year Off Men, Kelly Alexander reveals what happened when she made a One Year resolution to take a year off the search for a man to search within. Her Eat Pray Love–type journey, mixed in with a smattering of He’s Just Not That into You humor turned into a guide for her girlfriends who were having a terrible time in the dating scene. Taking a “man-batical” offers a woman a chance to focus on herself for the next year of her life without the distraction of wondering, “What does he think?”—because who cares; this year is all about you! Just as Kelly discovered during her year off from men, you too can learn to put yourself first, find out what you really want in a partner, and never again settle for less than you deserve. What are you waiting for? Start your year off men today! “Kelly Alexander’s book, My Year Off Men, speaks to women of any age seeking to discover who they really are. Kelly’s ‘Notes to Self’ and ‘Reflections’ at the end of each chapter are insightful signposts for the reader on her path to self discovery.” —Antoinette Asimus, coach, facilitator and senior teaching faculty, Tantra Heart, LLC “My Year Off Men was a truly honest look at the pitfalls that women fall into to be in a relationship. I recommend this book for the person who has been searching for love outside of themselves.” —Helen Everest, author of Finding Home: the Journey Within
About the Author
Kelly Alexander is a Certifi ed Transformational Coach. She specializes in relationship coaching for women teaching them Passion and Pleasure techniques through Tantra. She has a B.A. in psychology, fine art, and education from Western and Trent University. She is also a ten year Reiki practitioner. Regularly she spends her days laughing, dancing, running workshops and privately coaching women on the joy of integrating their spiritual and sensual lives. Kelly began her spiritual quest at the age of twelve when her grade school teacher taught her how to meditate. Twenty-two years later, she continues on her spiritual journey. She now lives in Canada, after an epic fifteen years of globe-trotting and growing. Kelly also has a monthly video blog with free relationship tips for women at www.kellyalexander.org. She wishes you well on your journey, whatever wonderful places it may take you.