High Heels on the Hamster Wheel

Foreward

A clarion call for women! Every day in my practice I see women exhausted from trying to keep everyone in their lives happy – at their own expense. New York Doctor Frank Lipman calls these women the ‘spent generation’– so exhausted from the moment they wake up in the morning that they can only get through the day propped up on increasing doses of caffeine and sugar. Where does the madness end? When is enough, enough?

The madness stops here with a simple fable about a woman literally stuck on the hamster wheel of life. It would be easy to dismiss this book as just a nice story about modern life but that would be a mistake. The cost women pay in their health and relationships from the endless busyness and focus on others is all too real. And all the advice about empowerment and self-care doesn’t help if the same choices are made over and over again. I can relate. As a single mother struggling to pay the bills I found myself self-medicating to cope. Whether it was abusing alcohol, building up credit card debt, or going from one relationship to another to fill the empty void, they were all a great distraction from the pain in my life – I didn’t have time to really get to the root of why I was unfulfilled and I could pretend everything was fine. My own journey of healing and recovery led to a rediscovery of my spirituality, my work as an addiction specialist and to my award-winning book, The Law of Sobriety. As someone who is in recovery myself, all my experiences have led me to work with others who also have been lost in the haze of addictions.

When I was on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Pinsky I would work one-on-one with each cast member going through the rehab process. And I always noticed a difference whether I was treating a man or a woman. Both might have the same addiction but, time and again, the woman struggled with bringing the focus back solely to herself. So often it was a troubled relationship that was the root problem underlying the coping mechanism of the addiction. Today I work with love addiction as well as other ‘soft’ addictions. Codependency is a major issue for women and so hard to recognize as it hides under the guise of ‘helping’ others.

As you’ll find in the story of the main character’s dilemmas, the ability to set healthy boundaries, to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ with a clear heart and mind are key to self-restoration and empowerment. In today’s society where the role models for women and young girls are very thin models, actresses, singers and ‘real’ housewives living luxurious lifestyles while steeped in drama and conflict, it’s no wonder women feel they never measure up. And, if you allow yourself to be stuck on that hamster wheel too long, you’ll inevitably begin to feel like a victim, unappreciated for all that you do.

A victim mentality can become chronic and fill a person with negative thoughts, negative energy and a feeling of very real hopelessness and helplessness. Changing a victim mentality to that of a positive, successful and self-reliant person is not as difficult as it may appear. Working with a therapist, life coach or counselor is highly recommended if you are experiencing these effects and noticing an impact on your ability to function in your life. However, for the majority of women, it is really an issue of self-awareness, support for the changes you want to make and tools you can use to get you where you want to be. This book is one of those tools.

The Law of Attraction is something that I use with my clients that allows them to develop a positive way to look at themselves and the world around them. As they see themselves as successful and self-reliant they find that the world around them supports their change and gives them the positive energy they need to keep changing. They find that those old negative victim thoughts are replaced by a person that accepts challenges and moves into the world in a positive and proactive way they have always wanted.

While the Law of Attraction is not specifically addressed in High Heels on the Hamster Wheel, the holistic model proposed by the author recognizes the importance of a connection to spirit and changing the patterns of thinking that keep us stuck in place. As you’ll find out, once the heroine of the story starts shifting her patterns, she begins to attract different experiences. And, best of all, she finds the truly empowered life.

Your author, Cathleen, has been there – may even still be there! LOL

Seriously, I’ve known Cathleen O’Connor for a few years now and she gets it. Not only does she bring that amazing spiritual perspective to life, she lives it! She has a way of distilling important information down to the essence that makes the greatest difference. Every step her heroine walks, Cathleen has taken (more or less). From her corporate career to her entrepreneurial businesses to her work as a life and business mentor and spiritual messenger, Cathleen’s wisdom is here for you within each page of this book.

So, if you are a woman feeling trapped in a never-ending series of activities and responsibilities, you’ve come to the right place. Just like any addiction, all that busyness and focus on others is a way to distract you from your own needs. And, just like an addiction, the road to recovery begins with recognizing there is something wrong and taking responsibility to make the changes needed. You may just find that what’s been missing in your own life has been within you all along.


Warmly,

Sherry Gaba, LCSW
Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
www.sherrygaba.com