Beating the Odds:

An excerpt from the self-help strategies listed in Chapter 6 on stress management: Listen to Thoreau and to D.A.R.E.: The eminent American author, Henry David Thoreau, enjoins us to “Simplify, simplify,” and the anti-drug campaign reminds us to “Just say no.” Both messages are very applicable to stress management. We can cause our own stress by surrounding ourselves with clutter and by leading very disorganized, chaotic, or overcommitted lives. If you are stressed, you may need to simplify your life on a number of different levels by eliminating relationships, activities, material objects, and/or commitments that enhance rather than reduce your stress levels. When it comes to excessive commitments, please remember the popular adage that “the word NO is a complete sentence.” In other words, you do not have to justify your behavior to anyone. If you need to say “No” to reduce your stress level, then simply say it. The price you pay for continuing to live an overextended life is far greater than any temporary discomfort you may experience if you think you’ve let someone down. Rest assured that whoever it is will survive, but you may not if you don’t slow down and take care of yourself. Take Some Time Out for Yourself Each Day: This particular stress management technique is part of what it means to take care of yourself—along with exercising and eating well. No one, not even the most revered of saints, can give of him or herself 24/7. No matter how hard you try, eventually your well of energy is going to dry up. Taking time out for yourself each day is one way to ensure that you forever stop running on empty. Specifically, this act of self care and self preservation means doing something you enjoy every day—even if it is only for five to ten minutes. Such activities can include reading, listening to or playing music, gardening, journaling (a personal favorite of mine since it allows for the release of thoughts and feelings that promote stress), taking a hot bath, and so forth. The idea is to choose a pleasurable activity that promotes relaxation. Taking time for yourself will not only help your stress levels but it will also help reduce any feelings of resentment you may have toward your stressor(s)—which will, in turn, help you to control your stress. Practice the Three P’s: Plan, prioritize, and prepare. There is probably nothing that stimulates a college student’s stress level more than the fourth P: procrastination. When given a task, waiting until the last minute to think about how to complete it on time and well simply does not work. All it does is add another layer of stress to the ones most college students are already experiencing. If you can learn to make lists of tasks to be completed, to prioritize those tasks, to place them on your calendar, and to allot yourself the time it takes to prepare and revise presentations, papers or projects, you will do wonders for your stress levels and for your self-esteem. You want to succeed, but you can easily sabotage your attempts to achieve success by letting stress get the better of you as a result of procrastination. While it is true that some of us work well under pressure, it is equally true that none of us can produce our best work if we don’t give the three P’s their rightful due. Have A Good Laugh: “There is healing power in laughter,” a friend once told me, and I have found this statement to be very true. Whether you use the Sunday comics, a Steve Martin video, or a comedy club, find a way to laugh deeply, to laugh heartily, and to laugh often. It’s good for the body, it’s good for the spirit, and it’s very good for stress reduction, especially because stress often causes us to become overly tense and serious. Consider Taking A Time-Out: Whether you take a much needed vacation or a leave of absence from school, this “time-out” will go a long way toward helping you “decompress from stress,” which will, in turn, help you focus more on your studies. Taking a time-out may also entail eliminating a stressor from your life altogether (e.g., a particular job or a relationship). As I often tell students, it is better to take some time off rather than forever blemish your transcripts with substandard grades or withdrawals. Even if you do take a time-out, you will not actually lose any time since you will eventually have to make up all those substandard grades and withdrawals if you choose to stay in school while under very high stress. The time-out will not affect your employability either. You will still have more time than you need to enjoy your chosen occupation, and you may have a much better chance of getting hired if you have the kind of impressive academic record that a time-out can often help you achieve. Broaden Your Connections: Since stress can cause depression and anxiety, now is the time to form new connections . . . to people, to pets, and to nature. Whether you join a new club on campus, engage in community service, or start an internship related to your chosen career, you will be surrounded by people who can distract you from your stressor(s) or offer the support you need to better manage them. Bottling everything up inside rather than seeking the support of others will only intensify your stress. In the same way we need to share our grief when we lose something we love, so, too, do we need to share our troubles when they feel overwhelming to us. Pets provide us with a different kind of support, of course. Their unconditional love and devotion, their calming presence, and their constant antics can both soothe and distract even the most stressed individuals. And, finally, there are the vast expanses of nature in the form of the sea, the stars, and the mountains—to name but a few—that can provide the rest and renewal as well as the more balanced perspective that stressed individuals may very well need. Making the effort to commit to people, to pets, and/or to nature can be an excellent stress management technique.