Drunk with the glory of youth and obsessed with the passion of seeking happiness for myself in this hedonistic world, I had spurned and kicked away in early life that which had symbolized a graceful, prosperous and an auspicious life. I had broken my marriage and ignored all traditions of society. I saw people around me crying but their grief didn’t touch me; neither did I pay attention to their tender loving requests. Obsessed with my pride and glory, I ignored every one around me. Never for a moment did I hesitate to pat my self on the back, or put on the crown of Raja gunas in self absorbed glory.
Thus, wearing the badge of passion and lust, I kept on marching in life until suddenly, one day I fell flat on my face. Blinded by the radiance of my ego and pride, life seemed like a victorious joyride. I settled down to a life of what I believed would be one of happiness, but proved to be a lie, a mirage, a curse of youth, a dark whole like a palace built with black money. After living a life of a famous celebrity for fourteen years because I wanted name and fame, one day I walked out on a scorching hot afternoon, leaving behind a massive amount of wealth, a family and two kids.
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I had accepted traveling alone in my lonely life when a desire to search for a spiritual guide quietly crept in my thoughts. At this point, someone I knew introduced me to a “spiritual teacher” who was charismatic, had mystical powers and could supposedly lead people to God realization with a single touch. I wanted to meet and get initiated by him but before that could happen, an extraordinary event took place at the wedding of my friend’s daughter. This event not only crushed my desire to get initiated but I also no longer wanted to meet this magical personality any more. I realized that the teacher weighed people against the amount of wealth they had, before accepting them as pupils or followers. Hence, regardless of how illustrious this teacher was, he held no value for me.
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“Who am I?”
In response to this question raised by a devotee, Baba had replied, “To find yourself, you do not need to travel far. If you can get rid of your name and ‘am’, then you will find in yourself, the same self that is present in every one, that is the soul. That is the “I”. Once you realize this, you will find me in you just as you are in me. This is how I am present in every one and every one is present in me. If you can meditate on this by forgetting all separations, then you will naturally feel one with the universal consciousness and become one with me.”
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Every time the topic of Baba came up, the station master of Bhalambir station would say, “He’s a fraud.” Yet he came to Shirdi to meet Baba at the repeated request of Dasganu Maharaj. When Dasganu Maharaj brought his friend to Dwarkamai Mosque in Shirdi, Baba was washing dishes in one corner of the courtyard and making sure that each utensil was kept upside down. After watching this process for a while, the station master got a little irritated and asked, “Why is He keeping the utensils upside down?” Baba gave a brief smile and answered, “When people come to me with their minds upside down, the way these utensils are kept, how is it possible for me to offer them any thing?”
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The moment I touched Baba’s tomb, my mind whispered, “Finally, I’ve found it.”