Relationship Within

Introduction: Relationships do not just arise in a vacuum. They emerge as we move into life and reach out to others. There are no two people completely alike. Thus, no two relationships are identical. We set a realistic goal for all relationships and know they can be solid and real. Making a conscious effort to fashion each relationship into a precious jewel is valuable. In the sense of designing alliances, each relationship is a joining of two different things to create something essentially new. Together we create a whole greater than the sum of the parts. The field of relationship produces a splendor that was not apparent in the separate individual. We discover a shared sense of meaning. Relationships are vital markers. From one stage of life to another, they point to something growing between two people over space and time. The nature of this joining is complex. A relationship that produces a deep involvement is more than just the joining of the two separate people. The third thing that the relationship represents is something other than just you and me. My self and the other also hints at a “missing something” a subtle, invisible, yet fully embodied connection. We experience this comingling as something transcending the two individuals. It brings sacredness to human intimacy. Chapter One: The Foundational Relationship Creating a positive relationship with anyone is a challenge. We have forgotten how to speak to each other in the universal language of love and respect. With all our sophisticated high-speed communication, we have lost a common idiom that makes us human. The secret of a human being begins in conversation with the higher self. An opportunity awaits you. You develop a firm foundation with yourself that emerges from a secure and supportive base preferably within the family. These relationships provide the capacity to move out into the world and form committed relationships. In the natural course of life, we build relationships from infancy into youth, as we gain maturity, age and pass on. Some even continue the relationship with loved ones beyond death. There are religious practices that honor the dead and worship ancestors. It is worthwhile to examine the role of positive engagements especially in life transition. You can be responsive as the tides shift and new attitudes such as wisdom and emotional intelligent come forward. I encourage you to engage in the exercises included here. They offer practices that support new attitudes and actions that sustain a connection to inner balance. Scientific research demonstrates that structured into the neurological hardwiring or our brain is the instinct to form relationships. Through out life, physical and mental health significantly determines wellness and reflects the quality of our relationships. People who have positive relationships throughout life usually live longer and have a better quality of life. We interact with others as the primary means of making it through our world. At core, we are relational creatures from the skin down to the bone. Developmental psychologists have suggested that we come into the world to relate, communicate and interact with others. That is why we are here. However, we are changing and evolving all the time. The dance of relationship through the lifespan marks the challenges and joys of moving successfully through the various phases of our life. Symbolic Perspective of Relationship Relationships serve different purposes and have multiplex meaning. Some of us focus on the general aspect of relationships and others are more compelled to examine the idiosyncrasies of individual’s relational stories. The exemplary meaning we ascribe to certain relationships draws us into complex intellectual, emotional, spiritual and psychological realms. Some relationships can give us a window into dimensions we may not have considered. We all seek an authentic experience of our self and unity with our Source. Higher Self, God, Allah, Atman, Yahweh, Christ Consciousness, Buddha Nature, or simply put, All There Is. The symbolic perspective of relationship offers a representational world of rich imagery. We know that the art of human connection emerged from our ancestors through primordial rituals, artifacts, architecture, literature, music, dance, visual arts and language. These archetypal forms provide representations that link us to how other people built relationships throughout human history. We gain ingress into the mystery at the heart of relationships. Relationship building is the central activity on the life journey. Life itself is our first and primary relationship. It miraculously transports us out into another kind of relationship at birth. We become a separate self; learn to interconnect with other people. From infancy through childhood, nothing stays the same, we must continue to attach and sever connections as we move out into the teenage years. We mature, serve others and play our part in the local community, and make our unique mark upon the world. We polish the crude shapeless stone of our individual identity and join in the human encounter. We discover, (if we are blessed) the jewel in our crown faceted from relationships. Inner relationship is a precious stone forged in the crucible of our hearts. It is a thing of magnificent beauty, so we acknowledge the fountain of all love. Our personal, family and intimate relationships improve when we do not expect them to provide everything. The positive characteristics of our relationships significantly influence the overall quality of life. Self-esteem helps us deal effectively with life events that trigger painful relational patterns. The relationship sprouts wings and soars into the unknown but is securely rooted in the needs of the moment. Learning new and effective ways to deal with problematic behavior is the key to healing relationships. Self-love forms the foundation of our single, most important relationship, the relationship we create with our self. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love you is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The Golden Rule is to do unto others and you would like them to do unto you. You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways. Look a little closer though, and you will find that at its very center is the command to love yourself.