No More Secrets
A Therapist's Guide to Group Work with Adult Survivors of Sexual Violence
by
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Isabel (name changed) walked into our group for adult survivors of sexual violence and sat down. She stared at us with challenging eyes as we maneuvered nine other people through the curriculum you will find in this guide. When it came time, during the various sessions, for group members to contribute their own experiences, she did not say a word. She did not participate, she did not react – a severe monolith with eyes downcast unless they were to stare at us, the facilitators, with that piercing, challenging look.
But she came…every week. She did not miss a session.
We talked about Isabel during our review of the week’s session and preparation for another. We had each attempted to draw her out, with little success. Just a shake of her head and the quiet comment, “I’m fine.”
Finally, during Week 10 of group, she finally spoke. We were almost in shock, and her fellow group members – who had looked upon her with a little impatience – sat in utter silence.
“I know you have seen me come here and not participate,” she said slowly. “But I have listened to all of you. I have learned from all of you. I finally decided it was safe to talk. I have carried shame with me for most of my life. My brother raped me when I was 13 years old. I got pregnant and had a baby. How could I tell my daughter that her father was my brother?”
Isabel spent a few more minutes describing how at age 13, she was the outcast in her family – not her brother, and the challenges she had to meet – living a lie –for the 30 years since that time, including a couple of therapists who wanted to concentrate on her substance abuse and depression, but ignored her disclosure of sexual assault.
“You people here have finally shown me that I was not and am not alone. And for that, I am very, very grateful,” she finished. The rest of the group members sat stunned, and then burst into applause. I think we all had tears in our eyes.
People have asked why we put No More Secrets together. Isabel and millions like her are the reasons.
That amazing guru of Group Therapy, Irvin Yalom, cites Universality, Catharsis, and Altruism among his 11 Therapeutic Factors of Group, but for sexual assault survivors, we find that one of the most salient is the Instillation of Hope and the confirmation that they are not going crazy, but have been the victims of a horrendous crime.
The 12-Week Curriculum we have designed is a Cognitive Behavioral Psycho-educational empowerment model, intended to move group members from crisis to stabilization and then to integration. Keeping in mind that both experienced and novice group leaders will hopefully find this guide useful, we have taken care to include evidence-based techniques that have worked for us in running the more than fifteen years, collectively, that we have been doing this specific format.
For that reason too, we would also encourage the following recommendations:
• Group should be facilitated by at least one licensed therapist and a co-facilitator who should meet both before and after each session to explore the unit’s impact and participants’ responses;
• No more than 10-12 should be in the group (we have found that 8-10 is an ideal number), which can be a minimum of 90 minutes to 120 minutes a session;
• Participants in this adult group should be at least 18 years of age, although the 18 to 24 year old range is more appropriate for our college-age curriculum. And while all-females are often the norm, the group can also work with both genders as initial suspicion quickly morphs into understanding that both genders share the same feelings of victimization. (Stay tuned for our Male Survivor’s Group and Teen and College Student’s Group curriculum guides).
• Prospective group members should be pre-interviewed, as those with pervasive mental health issues and/or severe disabilities need a group tailored to their specific challenges; not this group.
• Group members who miss three sessions will be asked to wait for the next 12-week group cycle, and members should agree that there will be no contact with each other outside of group for the duration of the group. We learned, all too clearly, how disastrous contact can be when unseen issues compromise the safety of the group space.
Finally, we heartily welcome your feedback and stories (contact information provided at the end) as you navigate the sometimes very intense waters of sexual violence and guide others to the shores of healing and recovery. You are choosing to do good work!
Denise Lang-Grant Irene Colucci-Lebbad
TABLE OF CONTENTS
PART 1 A THERAPIST’S INTRODUCTION TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE
Chapter 1 What Do I Say When a Client Discloses?
Chapter 2 Myths of Sexual Assault and Their Effect on All of Us
Chapter 3 The Signs of Sexual Trauma
PART 2 THE 12 WEEK GROUP CURRICULUM FOR ADULT SURVIVORS
Chapter 4 Week 1 – Orientation, Breaking the Silence
Chapter 5 Week 2 – Dealing with PTSD or Why Am I Not Myself?
Chapter 6 Week 3 – Understanding It Wasn’t Your Fault
Chapter 7 Week 4 – How Sexual Abuse Changed Your Life
Chapter 8 Week 5 – Coping Mechanisms & Survival Skills
Chapter 9 Week 6 – Recognizing the 9 Trolls of Limited Thinking
Chapter 10 Week 7 – Anger, the Backbone of Healing
Chapter 11 Week 8 – Developing Your Support System
Chapter 12 Week 9 – Healing Sexually
Chapter 13 Week 10 – Building Self-Esteem
Chapter 14 Week 11 – Mourning Your Losses & Moving On
Chapter 15 Week 12 – Medicine Bundles and Wrap-Up
Chapter 16 A Final Word to Therapists About Self-Care
Appendix A GROUP FORMS
Appendix B GROUP HANDOUTS BY WEEK
REFERENCES
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Book Details
About the Book
Sexual assault and abuse have been called a worldwide epidemic by the World Health Organization, but many clinicians are reluctant to tackle this topic due to their own lack of knowledge or personal anxieties. In this ground-breaking workbook replete with dramatic examples, Denise Lang-Grant, licensed trauma therapist and award-winning author, and Irene Colucci-Lebbad, a licensed clinical social worker with an extensive background in sexual and domestic violence, combine fifteen years of experience in running groups for survivors of sexual violence to present the how-tos of running a group for adults, intended to move group members from crisis to stabilization to integration. Keeping in mind that both experienced and novice group leaders will find this guide useful, they have included evidence-based techniques that will fit easily into any theoretical orientation and practice. This guide is a must-have for any clinician, university, rape crisis center, or legal entity dealing with sexual violence.
“No More Secrets is a step-by-step professional guide, which can assist mental health practitioners to offer hope and healing for those who have been victims of sexual abuse. The authors write about sexual abuse with faith in the power of individuals to overcome their experiences and become strengthened in the process. The chapters are written in a clear, concise, well-organized manner and can easily be incorporated into a practitioner’s skill set or theoretical orientation. This is an important and necessary guide that deserves a wide readership.”
— Luba Shagawat, Distinguished Fellow of the National Academies of Practice and former President of the NJ Society of Social Workers
“Being a child sexual abuse survivor and a former Penn State football athlete who loves the school and the program, I spent years trying to cope with my abuse through drugs and alcohol. I was fortunate enough to finally find this group program, and I reaped the benefits. I believe that the program offered in No More Secrets is a wonderful resource and should be utilized by therapists, university training programs, and law enforcement agencies to sensitize them to the challenges faced by all survivors of sexual violence.”
— Anthony Gordon, board member for Defend A Child
About the Author
Denise Lang-Grant is a licensed therapist specializing in sexual and other traumas and author of nine other non-fiction books on family relationships, health, and true crime. Former Director of Atlantic Health’s rape crisis center in Morris County, New Jersey, she is the state facilitator for strengthening community response to military survivors of sexual violence and also serves as an adjunct instructor for Seton Hall University’s Master’s in Counseling program. Denise maintains a private practice in Morris and Somerset counties and was a major contributor to the inaugural edition of the first encyclopedia to deal with sexual trauma and recovery. She is a member of the American Counseling Association and the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress. Denise and her husband Alan Grant, a musician/songwriter, live in Somerset County with their two dogs. Denise can be reached at dvlwords@gmail.com
Irene Colucci Lebbad is a licensed clinical social worker with extensive background in sexual abuse, domestic violence, and behavioral health. A former director of the Somerset County NJ Sexual Assault Support Services program, she is currently one of the principles in a group practice specializing in sexual violence and abuse. Through more than 10 years as a clinician working with survivors of sexual violence, incest, and abuse, Irene developed a keen understanding of how trauma from sexual abuse impacts a survivor’s quality of life. She continues to conduct trainings and workshops for community organizations, law enforcement, and other professionals in order to educate and raise awareness. Irene and her husband Tom have a large extended family and live in Somerset County New Jersey. Irene can be reached at Irene.Lebbad@gmail.com