Welcome
So you’re on your own. There’s no turning back now. It’s over. I know that heartache, fear, resentment, grief and a sense of powerlessness are only some of the many emotions you may be experiencing right now and so I welcome you with a warm, virtual embrace.
I have walked in your shoes and that’s why I am here – to help guide you to awakening those deep, profound areas within that hold the key to unlocking your most meaningful and fulfilled life. I know that the journey we are about to take together may be challenging for you at times as you take ownership of healing, transforming and empowering every aspect of your life. But I also know what an incredible woman you are. I know how much strength and creativity you have lying dormant in the depths of your being. I know you have the potential for catalysing this life-changing trauma into the type of outcome that you may yet have dreamed of, but not dared to create.
You are not alone. Many women have trodden this path on their journey to greatness. This is the path I now lay before you, the path that we now walk together.
How to use this book
In my practise, I usually facilitate all the steps in this book (and more) over a period of 6 weeks. However, I have chosen to present the material here in a way that is flexible and allows you to work through the process at your own pace. This is because you will find some parts easy while other parts will require a great deal more self-reflection and you, as the reader, will need to decide when you are ready to move from one step to the next. The material in this book is designed to bring about meaningful and lasting change so please don’t rush through it, rather work at a pace that feels right for you.
You will find the tools in this book very practical and I will guide you throughout on how to apply them with care and awareness, so that you quickly begin to experience powerful results. As we go along you will soon begin to see that these tools can be re-used throughout your life at any stage to recover from a crisis or to re-direct your life at any turn.
My process consists of three phases, which are reflected in this book as follows:
Phase One – Foundations For Healing
We start by addressing the initial shock and emotional trauma stages that follow a big breakup. This phase relates directly to your physical healing. It will help you transcend the Reptilian Brain thinking process (which is activated in response to stress and trauma). This is the part of the brain that perceives that you are under threat and puts you in “fight or flight” mode, causing chemical imbalance in the body which you experience as numbness, shock, heartache, insomnia, etc. The exercises in this part of the book help bring about internal balance, preparing the way for clearer thinking so that you can move onto the next phase of the process – psychological transformation. This occurs at the next level of the brain – the mid-brain.
Phase Two – Rapid Psychological Transformation
Now we are ready to address the mental perceptions that cause the emotional turmoil after the breakup. This phase relates directly to your mental/emotional healing and will balance your perception of events, transcending the mid-brain thinking process (concerned with everyday thoughts, emotions, senses and
perceptions). Once we are able to put intense emotions, resentments and fears into perspective and create balance on this level, we pave the way for the next phase of the process – emerging an inspired new life.
Phase Three – Building Your Strongest Life
Finally, we introduce steps for planning and implementing the new life that you wish to emerge. This phase relates directly to your spiritual healing and will allow you to activate a new vision for your life from the more evolved and inspired humanitarian brain. It assists you in bringing about profound inner and outer transformation, putting you back in the driver’s seat so that you can re-direct your life to meet this new vision.
Reflections and Healing Action Steps
There are pauses for Reflection as well as Healing Action Steps throughout the book, both are vital components of the process and it’s essential that you complete each one before moving on to the next.
As you work through the book, I ask one important thing - that you bear with the process. The sequence is there for a reason, and as you move through the chapters you will realise why this sequence makes perfect sense. Please trust the structure and follow the format. Throughout the book you will also read stories, all of which are real examples, drawn from my years of working with many brave women who wanted to reach out for help and improve their lives. I have changed their names in order to protect their privacy.
For the sake of reference, and because I predominantly work with women who have come out of relationships with men, I refer to “her”, “he” and “she” in a way that may seem stereotypical at times but I assure you that, no matter who you are (man or woman) or who you have been in a relationship with (male or female), if your partner has walked out on you and you are devastated, the tried and trusted methods in this book can really help make a difference to your healing process.
Are you ready to get started? I know I am.