I used to find life hard. For too many years I'd tried to get it right, but I just kept on tripping myself up and falling into the gaps that existed in my own life. I'd climb back out, dust myself down, pretend I didn't feel ashamed, paint on my confident face and set out again, only to keep repeating the same process. I just didn't have the map which would show me how to reach a happy and worthwhile life; but I did have an inkling that such a map existed, at least metaphorically, although I suspected that it was only available to people who'd had a much different background to me, and that if by chance I ever did get to see such a map then I wouldn't be able to understand it, let alone use it properly anyway. This book illuminates and reflects my own arduous trek to create such a map which shows the way towards a better life - for those of us who need a bit of help and guidance along the way. A map which can be used by anyone willing to get their sturdy boots on and undertake the journey to a life without the big gaps into which they have also been falling.
I will begin by explaining the 'why and what' reasons for my writing this book. The 'why' stems from my growing awareness of a need for something new which can fill in the gaps – more gaps! - that still exist in current therapeutic services and in what they have to offer to the public. The 'what' is an introduction to 'The Ripple Effect' Process, a programme of psycho-emotional-education which I have created as a new approach to overall emotional and psychological well-being. I don't intend this book to just be a marketing tool – that would be selfish, inconsiderate and arrogant of me to say the least - and so I have been sure to include insights, tips, expanded information, and even a few poems and visualisations which I hope will make the whole book more comprehensive, informative, relevant and attractive to you. I want it to be the sort of book that you will happily pass on to someone else, or even encourage them to have their own copy to use and refer to themselves.
Over recent years the phrase 'ripple effect' frequently arose in my work as a psychotherapist. I would often hear myself use the term to describe the effects that even a simple change in ourselves can have upon the wider world. We are all energy in a bigger field of energy, and everything has an effect upon everything else. I know first-hand that significant personal change is possible as I myself have changed considerably since being the angry, aggressive and neurotic young woman that I once was. My own life path has meandered along with its own twists and turns, steep climbs and sharp drops, and I can hardly recognise the person I used to be - although I do feel sympathy for her struggle, and gratitude for her persistence. My own path to growth and change has had a ripple effect upon my relationships with my daughter and grandson; and with my more recent choice of friends, as well as with the clients I have had the privilege of working with over the last 17 years. I have often seen this ripple effect of change in my clients' daily lives too, and in the ways in which they have improved their own relationships, particularly with their partners and children, and most importantly with themselves. The name for this new form of therapeutic help therefore had to be 'The Ripple Effect'!
The ripple is a symbol of growth, sharing, hope, and change. We are all energy and as such we all affect one another in many unseen ways. When we refine and clarify what we intend to project out into the world we give the best of ourselves for others, who are in turn affected by that and undergo changes in themselves too.
I am someone who never believed that she could write a book – but here I am on an incongruously snowy day in April starting to do just that! I have changed so much myself, and I now know that great change is possible given the right opportunity, guidance, direction, and support. I sincerely hope that the modules of 'The Ripple Effect' Process will provide these conditions for your own growth and change, so that you can fill in and heal the gaps that have been tripping you up and getting in the way of you being all that you deserve to be.
Here you will find an introduction to 'The Ripple Effect' Process, which can improve your life by means of a comprehensive programme of twelve psycho-emotional-educational modules which fill in the gaps not adequately covered by existing counselling, coaching, or psychotherapy services. 'The Ripple Effect' Process will enable you to:
Learn ho • w to balance your mind, body, and weight.
• Learn about yourself and why you are the way you are.
• Learn about your emotions and moods and how to regulate and balance them.
• Learn how to improve the ways in which you think and behave.
• Learn about healthy relationships and how to attract and nourish them.
• Learn what it takes to improve and sustain your overall level of happiness.
• Learn how to change your self-concept and raise your self-esteem.
• Learn how to be assertive and deal with difficult people.
• Learn how to achieve your personal goals and ambitions.
• Learn how to find, rescue, and re-parent your inner child, and to play and have fun again.
• Become acquainted with and find the balance between the different aspects of your personality.
• Become more in touch with your inner world and your own intrinsic needs.
We are all a form of energy, and we can change ourselves. It only takes this one major insight and then the right opportunity for us to learn about how to make such changes. 'The Ripple Effect' Process is this opportunity! When you fill in the gaps in your life and learn how to change yourself, you will have a better relationship with yourself and live a more meaningful, balanced, and rewarding life. This positively affects everyone around you, and they too will change in response to you. This is the power of 'The Ripple Effect.'
You owe it to yourself and to others to be all that you can be!
About the Author
Maxine Harley (Msc Integrative Psychotherapy) has almost 20 years of clinical experience and has identified the gaps in what counselling, psychotherapy and coaching services have to offer. She has created 'The Ripple Effect' Process to fill these gaps.
She lives in West Sussex, England, and has a daughter and grandson – from whom she has learned the most.