Now I Remember Who I Am

CHAPTER ONE

Opening the door to your heart

Open the door to your heart and let the loving light shine forth into your life in radiant abundance

My wakeup call arrived early one bright and beautiful autumn morning, when I least expected it. In fact it was a monumental turning point in my life, particularly the way in which I viewed it. I had just driven my partner Lee to work and I was feeling very relaxed as I made my way back along the beautiful scenic drive winding down towards my home at the beach. As I drove in quiet reverie, I felt inspired to visit one of my closest and oldest friends, Fleur. Her home is on a magnificent tropical fruit farm, with sweeping views to the coast and surrounding hinterland and I had to pass by it on my homeward journey. We had been friends for many, many years and over time our relationship had blossomed into a very special, spiritual congeniality. We both shared a common interest in the metaphysical and our friendship had spanned a lifetime of sharing personal experiences, exchanging books and chatting about the wonders and beauty of life. We connected on a deep and mutual level of understanding and had a very easy-going, fun relationship with each other.

On entering the fully glass enclosed living area of Fleur’s country home, I could feel the heat from the sun streaming through the panes, warming the air and creating a welcoming ambience. The room overlooked a magnificent rural panorama, and I could sense the peace and serenity exuding its presence as I seated myself on one of the comfy leather chairs clustered around the room. Relaxing fully, I scanned the beautiful collection of angel pieces which adorned every table and shelf in the room, and which Fleur loved immensely. It was quite obvious to me that she was an angel herself, of the earthly type, and my glance also fell to the ever-increasing packs of angel cards that were spread throughout the room in many small groupings. Fleur had inspired me years earlier to delve into the angel readings by gifting me a pack for my birthday. Every morning without fail, I would sit up in bed, shuffle the cards and be inspired by the message. I found it to be a wonderful way to begin the new day, and still do.

As we sat happily chatting, it became apparent that Fleur was leading into the same question she often asked me, “Have you started writing your book yet Marilyn, I had a vision of you writing only yesterday?” As was my usual response I replied, “When the time is right”, however as soon as the words had been uttered, I had a deep sense that today was different. Now was different. Little did I realize that I was about to open the door to a whole new world of inspiration and self-expression, far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Fleur reached down and picked up one of her latest decks of beautifully illustrated angel cards and pushed them into my hands. Whilst I was shuffling, I considered what she had said regarding her vision of me writing and I realized that I had held that dream in my heart for many, many years, as if it was a part of my very essence. Now, I could clearly see the book already finished, an inspirational best seller, with words of wisdom scattered throughout the pages, and those thoughts sent feelings of elation sweeping through me.

Abruptly a card flew out of my hands and fell into my lap. As I picked it up the words opened to my vision, snapping my attention back into the moment. It was a beautifully illustrated card, of a glorious angel, and defined by its own unique message. As I have always found when ever I use the cards, the message resonates with my energy and emotions in that moment and being no exception, the words so appropriately prompted me to think about beginning what I had never started and my entire body responded with gentle, tingling goose bumps that ran up and down my spine. Instantly I knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that it was time for me to embark upon writing my book. The certainty hit me like a giant wave rolling over my body and I felt as if I was being guided to make a shift within myself to begin the task, even though I had absolutely no idea what I was going to write about. As I left Fleur’s house shortly after, feelings of excitement began to well up within me, along with a great sense of commitment and urgency energizing my being. I knew that no matter what words came flowing through me, it was the right time to begin and how it would unfold would be the journey I had dreamt of making for over twenty five years.

Arriving home highly energized, I eagerly searched for and found an old, scrappy pad, and with pen in hand I sat down ready to begin. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, allowing my thoughts to slowly ease until I felt very relaxed, letting go of all mental chatter that could disturb me in my purpose. I felt that in this relaxed state, the words would surely flow easily onto the pages. And they did. Since learning meditation at an early age, I had developed the ability to go deeply into a state of stillness whenever the need had arisen, dispelling stress in my mind and body, particularly after experiencing arguments with my partner or children. When overwhelmed by negative emotions swirling through me and feeling a need for my own space, I would simply head for the bathroom or toilet. Shutting the door behind me so that no one would interrupt my space, I would sit on the toilet lid slowly breathing in and exhaling out until I could feel my body and mind letting go of the built up tension, completely relaxing in the process. In this quiet sanctum, I found the space and place within me to let it all go and centre myself in peace once again.

Now as I comfortably sat ready to allow the words to come, I asked my loving self for the graciousness to guide me in the process. Immediately the words sprang clearly into my mind and I began to write, astonished by the prompt response to my question. It was as though the floodgates had burst open and years of holding back fell away, allowing the words to flow almost faster than I could keep pace with. When they came no longer, I looked down at the pad to see that I had actually scribbled more than six pages. My hand ached and felt totally numb from the experience, but I felt so elated. I had at last committed myself to the task and had been honoured by the natural flowing words that had expressed themselves beautifully, as if they had a mind of their own. I felt such a strong spiritual connection and I understood that I had opened my heart and mind to receive the flood of information that followed.