The golden rope fell slowly onto the glossy, black record album spelling, “Newlywed Widow”. I woke up gasping for air as if I’d been fifty feet under water and I’d just made it to the surface. Our bed was sloshing and shifting beneath me with each attempt to become upright. And just as I succeeded with my hands planted and my fingers spread wide to support myself against the warm vinyl of our waterbed, I looked down at my new husband, Bob who was peacefully dozing away.
It was just a dream. It was just a dream, I kept saying to myself as I consciously tried to slow my breathing and calm down enough to get back to sleep. But my mind kept searching out that image; “Newlywed Widow”. I couldn’t shake this feeling that this dream wasn’t like any other nightmare I’d had before. It was a premonition. It was a solid premonition and I could still see it in my mind; “Newlywed Widow”. Over and over in my head; I could still see it spelled out beautifully in cursive, golden rope. The letters stretched diagonally across the front of the glossy, black album cover as if it had already happened and this was the soundtrack from his life. In this album we would hear his hopes and dreams, his frustrating teen years, his longing to be a musician and his goofiness of character. This album would be his epitaph and it was right here in my head. I was immediately angry at myself and frightened for Bob. I hated feeling so certain.
I tried to get back to sleep, but my mind keep bouncing back and forth from present to past. My past came flooding into my head and into this life with Bob. And after a lifetime of premonitions, I knew this gut feeling so well, that there was no denying it. The Lady in the Mirror told me about this when I was six years old, so it must be true. My mind kept going back to my early childhood with all its trauma and dimensions of an unlived innocence. My heart began to beat at a regular rate and my breathing calmed as I went back to my early childhood and back to the time of my first encounter with the Lady in the Mirror…