An Unencumbered Mind

Zen master Shunryu Suzuki said, "The mind of the beginner is free of the habits of the expert, ready to accept, to doubt, and open to all the possibilities." Children are the ultimate beginners. My two-year-old grandson Max inspired this little guidebook. These twenty-two mindfulness-based lessons demonstrate how, when practiced regularly, you can enhance happiness and alleviate anxiety, pain, and suffering. These lessons involve utilizing your natural resources and raising awareness to create a better living experience. When you slip out of the present moment and start revisiting the past or anticipating the future, pain in all forms creeps back into your experience. These lessons are in no particular order except for the first one—Pay Attention. Paying attention and bringing mindful attention to your experience empowers you and gives you the gift of choice. Paying attention informs all of the other lessons. You can choose to focus on one or all of them. The relevance of each one will be different for different people. As I understand it, our purpose as human beings is to become the best, most authentic versions of ourselves, to be happy, to help others, and to love. Things, by the way, that kids naturally do. Along the way, we can have many experiences that make these goals seem difficult, if not impossible to achieve. If we are stuck in our heads and feeling miserable, it can seem like there is no way around the pain and misery we are feeling. But there is a simple solution. Simple, but not necessarily easy. It takes practice to be more mindful of your current experience, then choosing your response. Your response to what you experience is everything. Understanding how to do it is one thing. Living it is quite another. That is why children are the best examples of how to live a happy, carefree life. They live it. They haven't yet been infected with the negativity that can, unfortunately, come with growing up. With practice, you can continually improve at staying in the moment and increase your level of well-being. "See if we can reclaim that child-like wonder even though things are hard, polarizing, and painful right now. That child-like heart and spirit is what will mend a broken world. One human at a time." ~Mirabi Star, Set Your Intention to Live a Mystical Life Life can feel heavy at times. When it does, we often resort to either "fix-it" mode or give up, forgetting the simple act of being present with our experiences and those around us. Living solely in our heads prevents us from experiencing life as it unfolds and robs us of the joy, peace, and ease that comes with being fully present in the moment. Bringing presence to our moments helps us to live life more fully. Instead of being stuck in emotions and memories of things in the past (that you cannot change) or obsessed with anxiety or worry about the future (that you cannot predict or control), we can focus on the present moment. It is the only time we really have to live. And most importantly, we can learn to skillfully manage our responses to what's happening, putting us in charge of our reactions, and therefore, our experience. I have experienced the power of mindfulness for healing. I used it to heal the pain of a lifetime of emotional abuse that kept me trapped in a mind loop that made me feel unworthy and unlovable. I craved attention and would do anything to please other people. The little girl in me came to those conclusions early in life, which stayed with me and influenced my life for many years. It's fascinating how much we can learn from the natural wisdom of a two-year-old. Many of these lessons are things we already know, but it's comforting to be reminded of our ability to live freely without the burden of the requirements of adulthood. We all carry some (or a lot) of baggage as we grow into adults, and if you’ve experienced trauma, it can add an extra layer of complexity. But remember, these skills are not exclusive to a few; they are for all of us. You, too, can use these tools to start lightening the load. Living happily doesn't have to be a struggle. Watching my grandson has reminded me that there are simple, natural actions we can take to increase our happiness. The main skill that encompasses and informs all of the ways listed here is being present in the moment, which can help us release the weight of our habitual worries and feel a sense of liberation and peace. Those twenty-two ways to lift mental and emotional burdens that weigh you down are presented here. The lessons cover self-care, meeting your needs, relationships, communication, curiosity, courage, mindfulness, and enjoying life. Each chapter is crafted to offer practical lessons that can be applied immediately to expand your awareness, bring you into the present moment, or challenge limiting beliefs and outdated behaviors. Take some time to reflect on the lessons, write your answers, or complete suggested exercises. Pay attention to how your experiences change and what progress you've made. Journaling can help you track your personal growth and evolution. Let this be fun. Remember to start and end with a beginner's mind. Know that it's not only okay but also encouraged to make mistakes in the learning process. Be patient and nonjudgmental with yourself as you implement these practices because they do involve reflection and awareness, so that the results you achieve are lasting integrations into new ways of being. Let our children be cherished examples of how to be in the world. Enjoy, and may you be well.