Here's What I Know

Chapter One ❤ We All Have a Story Every individual has a unique narrative, deeply personal and wholly theirs. While we might share experiences with others, each of us navigates our journey from a distinct viewpoint, framed within the walls of our personal reality. The innermost thoughts, emotions, and reflections remain inaudible to others; they are ours and ours alone. Life is an interplay of shared moments and solitary reflections. While we may walk side by side with others, our paths are our own, each marked by unique experiences and viewpoints. It's undeniable that every individual perceives the world differently. Narratives of the same event can vary drastically, colored by our personal lenses. My experiences have shown that while we all believe in our version of events, others might have contrasting perspectives. Often, disagreements are labeled as mere differences in opinion. Yet, more accurately, they are differences in perspective. I began with that statement because I now realize that all of MY inner talk, worry, and perspective made my reality what it was. How I felt about any one thing or person, experience or decision were MY feelings derived from a belief system that was dictated to me. How could THAT be wrong? It was wrong because I was taught to worry about the future that was not even here yet, control the present that was never IN my control, and I always judged myself how I THOUGHT others perceived me even when I disagreed with what they had to say! and THAT became my identity and dictated perception. I was living by someone else's expectations of ME and it wasn't working. My mindset or EGO is very stealthy and usually assures me I was right and others were wrong. I now know this was my inner guidance system talking to me, but, I wasn't listening. Every one of us has a perspective but what we all forget is, just that, that OUR perspective is not the only one in the room. Dictated perspective is also present. We also forget to remember that, the only one that matters, when it is in regards to OURSELVES, is our own. We are not taught to listen to our own guidance system, rather we embrace the dictated perspectives and opinions of others as our own. I tried to live up to what I perceived as the person I was supposed to be. I tried to achieve the image that was acceptable, the house, kids, and job that was acceptable which made me miserable but I did not show it. I silently and internally just told myself that after each perceived failure, I would do better next time. Perception is tricky, we all have one and we all insert it into our daily lives in almost every situation. We perceive what is best for ourselves we perceive how someone else meant something and we perceive what we think others perceive us as. I NEVER lived up to what in my mind I perceived to be the” me“I was SUPPOSED to be. I don’t think I have to lay out every detail of my life raising three kids, and working from home so I could be there for them with a husband who worked day and night trying to provide everything HE perceived were the most important elements of what a good father does to provide for his family or trying to fit in at the PTA meetings, to paint this picture. I trust anyone reading this IS or HAS experienced what I am getting at. I bet reading this for some may be the first time of really realizing that we all have our own perspectives and expectations of ourselves that are derived from what we THINK others expect from us and think we should be like, believe in, care about or how we may just go about an event in our lives. From the time we are very young we are taught to believe who we ARE is what we are TOLD we should be. What I have come to KNOW now is that our perception of ourselves, when embraced through another's eyes or subjected to another's judgment, can lead to a loss of our true self. I now know that all I have to do is be myself. I don't have to "live up to" any version of what anyone else thinks I should be. Worrying about ANYTHING that MIGHT happen at some future date is giving up your power NOW. Living someone else’s idea of your perfect life, perfect family, home, or job is reaching for a promise of something that does not exist and giving up your life to an endless journey towards loss of self. As you read my book my hope is you see yourself and reflect on mostly YOU, your self-talk, and what YOU would like to acknowledge in and for your own life through sharing my personal experiences and lessons. I hope to inspire you to take a look at the way you interact, react or not, with your family, friends, kids, coworkers, or anyone else that comes into your experience. Remember that only those we invite into our journey can enter it. Your perception becomes your reality. This is an interesting concept and some will argue its legitimacy but the more you examine your day-to-day thoughts and feelings including your actions and focus, this fact will become very clear and undeniable. We make and decide our reality all on our own. There is no one else to blame or hold responsible for ANYTHING in our journey. That will be a hard pill for most to swallow, I know it has been for me but it's getting easier as I realize how I took on a belief system that I had to be what I was told I had to be instead of becoming who I really am. I was living someone else's perception of what my life should be. As I have taken a good hard honest look at my beliefs, perspective, self-image, focus, and mostly inner talk I have seen the difference in how I USED to feel about all the above and how I now know to. Please join me while I continue my journey, to no destination but growing through intentional focus, self-observation, Spiritual growth through new understandings of just HOW I get what I get in my life and beginning to understand why I may NOT yet have certain things in my life I desire including how my perception changes my reality and needs constant observation from me so it doesn't just dictate to me and keep me from being ME.