A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
On occasion, I’ll reread the words I wrote while under the spell of believing the story written is worth sharing. An encapsulating heroine who rarely looks in the mirror and appreciates the unlikelihood of standing where she does today. The message was quite clear of what needed to be done- “stand in your power and speak your truth.” This is what my healer told me. She told me that I don’t live there anymore. And when I’m done, I hope you will understand that this was only ever about healing. For it was foretold long ago that I would break the cycle.
You are the writer of your story.
I was a victim of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse.
I am disabled.
I was ashamed.
But now,
I am a Trauma Survivor.
I am a Fibromyalgia Warrior.
I am a Disability Advocate.
I am an unapologetic, powerful human being taking up the space I deserve and earned.
The past no longer defines me, but it made me.
I am a badass.
So be it, so it is.
PS: Please buy my book so I can afford to see The Eras Tour.
TRIGGER WARNING
“Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces.”- Ann Voscamp
There are a lot of self-help books out there. Stories full of ways to cope and overcome. When we are desperate, we look outside of ourselves for help. We hope to find answers as if a perfect manual exists to guide us back to life the way it was before the trauma happened. The trauma that changed our lives. Sometimes we don’t even realize how traumatic something really was until much later in our lives. When you’re an adult, you don’t have a choice. You have to face the world, be productive, pretend to be happy, or even pretend to be normal- whatever that is.
I can’t promise this book will change your life, but I can share how my life has changed. I can share the healing model I’ve developed over my evolution of going from an abused, perfectionist, angel child who was afraid of everything to who I am today- still a little damaged, still a little broken- but free. If anything, even if the model doesn’t resonate with you- I hope you feel hope from the words of my truth that there is freedom from the pain, the trauma, and the past. We don’t have to live there anymore was one of the most profound statements my healer shared with me. I want to help your process so that you don’t have to live there anymore either. Take my hand, and let’s walk through this journey together.
I want to warn you. This book may have some triggering passages for you. It reflects my pain, my trauma, my depression, my fibromyalgia- but it also represents so much more. It gives you my hope, my passion, my tenacity, and my belief that things can always get better.
I am not sorry to tell my story. I am not sorry for taking up space in this world. That being said, each of the phases of my healing process require looking deep within. The journal passages you will see from roughly ages 10 until now are full of darkness, particularly in the trauma and grief sections.
The intention of the writing is to not trigger you, but to make you feel seen and feel not so alone. To let you know that others may feel this way from time to time, and that’s okay. We have to hold space for the moments when we struggle, yet also celebrate the moments we move forward in our healing journeys.
This is what I hope to give you as you walk through the chaos of a healing journey that has been anything but linear. Each section will proceed out of order intentionally, just like in real life as we try to climb out of dark places. I hope that if you are currently living in a dark place, this book helps you to climb out of it, or better yet- find your wings and fly.
I am honored to have you here with me, waiting to take off. Thank you for being my wingman, woman, or person as I tell my story. All humans are welcome here. May this be a safe space for you.
LET’S GO
I’m really doing it.
I waited long enough.
I was afraid before.
I no longer carry the burden of fear.
I carry a fire.
It goes out sometimes.
Only to be reborn.
For all good things come to an end.
Just like every cycle of life.
The next version is not afraid.
The next version is not on fire.
The next version is the fire.
The path was always lit.
She was just finding the way to HER.
Finding HER next best version.
The last version has come to an end.
#Worthy2.0