Where Did The Happy Girl Go?

The purpose of healing your inner child is to acknowledge that you are safe. If our feelings weren’t validated enough as a child, we begin to really feel as if we can’t trust ourselves or the world around us. It’s about allowing yourself to be vulnerable and know that you are enough. When you heal yourself, you begin to see life as beautiful and an opportunity to create the life you’ve wanted. You know that you are deserving enough to have everything that you’ve ever wanted. The more you begin to believe this, the higher you vibrate in your energetic field. This is when life begins to become very interesting because here – in this space, you can attract everything to you that you’ve ever wanted. We essentially get out of our way and instead spend our days creating the life of our dreams. Life becomes easy and beautiful. The purpose of any inner work that we do – is to improve the quality of your life. You have to surround yourself with people that want to see you win – otherwise you will always play small. We have to get so comfortable listening to our own intuition that we no longer need validation from the outside. There have been many years in between when I started writing this book and where I am now. I spent so much time surrounding myself with the wrong people or expecting those close to me to want the best for me. Well that wasn’t always the case. I wasn’t given the support or the encouragement and I can now see why I felt so broken for so long. I blamed myself, I thought it was because of me that things never seemed to get better. I couldn’t find the right relationship and I desperately wanted that. As I write this now, I am married and I have manifested the exact relationship I was praying for. I am married to someone who sees me, hears me, validates me and encourages me to do that for myself. It is through this relationship that I have healed the most and been able to see more than anything – that the past wasn’t my fault. My husband was able to acknowledge the moments that I felt like I wasn’t safe or supported by my family dynamics. I was able to feel less crazy and realise that I was experiencing wasn’t fair and I could move on from it. I no longer had to put myself in situations where I wasn’t respected. Being aware – allowed me to make very powerful changes in my life and I am the happiest I’ve ever been. I never thought that I could eventually feel like this about my life, but with all the inner work I’ve done – I am able to see it reflected in the life I have. I am grateful that The Universe was able to give me what I needed and not always what wanted. I had to grow through all of the unwanted to see my true potential. To see myself through the eyes of The Universe. I no longer believe in the opinions of others, but rather seek the truth for myself. I have grown a connected to The Universe that is so incredibly special and am able to hear guidance as if I am directly on the telephone. My husband is also very intuitive and spiritual – which has allowed us to grow in our connection together. I want this to act as a reminder that you can live the life of your dreams. If where you are now isn’t where you want to be – you have the power to change it. You have the ability to overcome those addictions you are struggling with, or heal the relationships with yourself and with others. You have the strength to leave a situation that isn’t for your highest good and love the life you are living. You just have to learn how to take your power back. Stop giving it to people that don’t deserve it. Love yourself enough to know what you deserve and allow The Universe to give it to you. My life looks nothing like it did years ago and now I’m happy that I didn’t give up. The thing about living with Depression – is that it will make you believe that nothing will get better. It keeps you stuck, because of the feelings of guilt and shame. The people around you will also be stuck in guilt and shame, with not knowing how to help you. It’s not about blame or expecting anyone or anything to “save” you. It’s about finding your own way through, with the support of people that have the tools to help you. For me, this was the Crisis team. If you’re not living in New Zealand, then find the equivalent. Do some research, make a few calls. They were amazing! I was meeting with a counselor every week and my Dad was driving me to those appointments. They really did help me. I even had counselors visit me at home, go for walks with me – all the things that were essential to my recovery. I couldn’t have done it without those people. They didn’t need to say anything, but rather just be available for me. I needed to know that I wasn’t alone and that somehow this was going to get better. If you’re going through Depression or someone you know is going through Depression – I want you to know you’re not alone. It’s not something we widely talk about or even understand, but it happens more often than you think. I got comfortable talking about it because I don’t believe that it defines who I am or who I became but it did shape me. It showed me my inner strength and resilience. It showed me where I had neglected myself and where I wasn’t being supported. Trying to “fix” someone with Depression is to feed into this idea that something is broken. To make someone feel like they are broken, is only going to perpetuate more of the low energy feelings that is caused by being Depressed. Your job as the support person is to be there, listen and to offer support. It’s not to force anything that they are not ready to accept for themselves. It’s about allowing the person to honor their own journey rather than what’s more comfortable for you. It’s making it about the other person entirely. That is what I experienced and that is what got me through.