Crystalline Rose

The Hurt Emotional and Energetic Abandonment: Denial of the Human Self Denial of the human self allows us to hide behind a cloak of invisibility. In an unpredictable and turbulent world, this denial is a survival mechanism, and it creates a sense of distrust. To deny our childhood trauma is to deny the very essence of what caused us to seek self- improvement. When we connect the dots, we are able to understand the path that brought us to this space of self-reflection. In order to create the healing canvas for this sacred self-discovery journey, we must understand that the link between our time in utero and the relationship we hold with our wombs, how we were mothered as well as our own spirituality play crucial roles in our transformation. This transformation is a highly complex, vulnerable, and personal experience, and it must be approached with unconditional love, patience, and compassion for the self. Our strongest bond within our formative childhood years, between the ages of zero and eight was with our mothers. If this bond has been severed through neglect, abuse, cruelty, or narcissistic parenting, our psyche and attachment styles to others can be catastrophically damaged. Furthermore, the severance of this bond can hinder our emotional development, connection to our innate spiritual power, and acceptance of our human bodies. This disconnection is also the foundation of our traumas and inability to cope with relationships or to achieve a happy equilibrium in general. Furthermore, unprocessed traumas and grief, such as job losses, poverty, or the breakdown of a relationship can lead to a variety of mental health challenges. They open the doorway to anxiety, depression, and antisocial behaviours. The longer we live in denial and just try to “get on with it”, the more these traumas fester and our self-esteem and confidence erode. I believe that everything in our lives align in order for us to grow. There will always be shadowy aspects of life, just as there will be joyful and lighter parts. It is up to us to understand the lessons in each situation and gently inquire within, to seek the guidance we need in order to learn, heal, and evolve. As children, we were taught to put others first by giving away parts of ourselves, to be selfless, and to always be available to help someone in need. This creates a distorted energy of over-giving, and as a result we undervalue our own needs. It is within this perceived kindness that the destruction of our psychological wiring begins. We inevitably grow up believing that it’s selfish to put our needs first and that somehow we are bad people if we say no. Because of this, we can find ourselves in codependent relationships and become people- pleasers even as we feel empty within. Our boundaries become weaker, and we become trapped in a cycle where we deny our own needs in order to serve others. The foundation of Crystalline Rose’s teachings is the notion that the source of suffering is suppressed emotional and psychic trauma. Our thoughts are electric, and our emotions are magnetic; when we understand this, we realize how powerful the mind-and-body connection is. As women, we carry these imprints within our wombs, and if these traumas are left unhealed, we can experience devastating emotional, physical, and spiritual disorders and illness. Our reproductive systems are highly intelligent and sensitive to the slightest emotional shift or trauma. When we accept our femininity and fertility, the health and vitality of our menstrual cycles send us powerful messages. Trauma is an energy of decay that erodes the cellular structures of both the physical and emotional body. It creates a hostile environment and breeding ground for mental instability and physical illness, thus blocking the connection to our spiritual self. It is also the very aspect that creates a life of denial, egocentric living, and dissociative behaviours. Delving into these shadowy aspects of the self that have created our emotional disconnection requires courage, determination, and strength. In order to achieve life-altering healing, we must acknowledge the role that both our early experiences and our connection to our spiritual self play. We are part human and part spiritual, and once we become comfortable with this concept and override the ego’s belief that anything that isn’t tangible is false, our journey into enlightenment can begin. I firmly believe that we must face our human traumas in order to heal, rather than solely relying on spirituality to free us. Relying solely on spirituality is a form of addiction, and it counteracts all of the incredible work that can be achieved when we accept who we are and honour all of the suffering we have experienced. Denial and shame are incredibly toxic energies for our health and psyches, as they lock us in a space of unprocessed trauma and lead to undesirable behaviours in relationships. Our greatest strength comes from staring our shadows directly in the eyes and not allowing them to confine us to a life of misery.