The Voiceless Soul

A soul that experiences nonlove for the first time enters the unworthiness trap without realizing it. From that very first moment of nonlove, the soul begins to search for love. Its existence in the physical world depends on it. The search becomes endless because we, as souls that need love, keep looking outside of our own divine essence to find love. We unconsciously yearn for the love of the source from which we came, but we don’t always receive that love the way we need to during our physical journey. As we continue to search for love in a world of grown-ups experiencing fear, we begin to fear it is we who are unlovable. This fear energy pulls us away from our divine essence and into the world of survival that our caregivers became trapped in. When we came into this world, we had to depend on others to show us love, because love in the physical world means the safety of our physical existence. Many of us have received the warmth and comfort of a nurturing mother or other caregiver at our start in life. As time goes on, that feeling of security begins to fade. We feel less and less of our Creator’s love and depend more and more on love from those who care for us. When that love is nonexistent or becomes inconsistent, we begin to question our safety. This pulls us more and more toward survival as we experience less and less feelings of love. Since we became stuck in survival consciousness at the first fear of nonlove, we continue to depend on others to validate us as lovable. The problem is that most of these others have also been depending on others for validation since their first feelings of nonlove. If we keep depending on others for our self-worth, then we keep searching outside of ourselves for something that is already within us. That is how innocent souls become confused on their physical journey. We forget where we came from. We forget how loved and lovable we are. We forget that we are truly a miracle of life. The first feeling of nonlove causes our souls to contract for safety. It’s an automatic, physical response to fear. Each time we feel nonlove, the body contracts again. Eventually our physical bodies become accustomed to protecting themselves from the fear of nonlove. This fear becomes so strong that nonlove becomes an expected reality. If we don’t feel a deep sense of love for the divine beings that we are, we will keep living from our ego consciousness, looking to others for validation and acceptance. We will remain in fear of rejection and judgment. That is what will keep us stuck in the trap. We will keep our bodies contracted for safety instead of relaxed and open to receiving love. The way out of this cycle of unworthiness is through seeing the bigger picture of your life. This means becoming aware of the patterns in your life and noticing how they lead back to the way you saw life as a child. This will give you a better understanding of where it went wrong and how you became disconnected from your true sense of self. As you started feeling disconnected from who you are, you learned to adapt to the expectations of others for safety. That was a good thing. You did what you needed to do so you could avoid possible abandonment. Although you may now know that your primary caregivers had no intentions of abandoning you, it is the consciousness of the soul that leaves the feeling of eternal love and takes the journey into a world that causes it to question its ability to be loved. After you look at the bigger picture around your life, you will need to expand your awareness around the people who caused life to go wrong for you. These are the people who were emotionally disconnected at the time you most needed connection. There is a story that you haven’t heard about their lives growing up. It includes where things went wrong for them when they needed to feel that love source, but it wasn’t available. This is why we keep falling into the trap. This is what makes us feel insecure as we seek the love source from where we came. This feels like rejection and abandonment to the soul all over again. You have never been abandoned by the all-loving Creator. You have unknowingly abandoned parts of yourself when you experienced feelings of nonlove during the physical journey. We are all repeating the past. Each generation does better than the one before it, but these fears are so ingrained in the energy that runs through the ancestral line that it is not easy to escape. This is why grown-ups fail to grow up. They are stuck in childhood patterns and don’t realize it. Many of these grown-ups have unmet childhood emotional needs that cause them to seek ways they can get those needs met, sometimes in childish ways. They are being directed by the soul consciousness of their wounded child selves, who are desperately seeking a love source as a survival mechanism. These are the innocent, confused and conflicted souls who taught you what life is about. They are living through fear, disconnected from the higher truth, and solely dependent on their survival resources. What we all need is the truth—not only the truth about who we are, but the truth about the experiences of those before us that took them out of their truth. The bigger story fills in the missing pieces to the story you created when you were focused on your fear of nonlove. That is the story in which you are the victim and others are to blame. If you expand your consciousness around the lives of those you blame for your unhappiness, you will see that you are feeling the same pain that they felt. The people who made you feel bad about yourself were fighting against their own distorted memories, which drove their unhealthy behaviors. Unfortunately, their pain may have been unknowingly projected onto you.