Rememberance
"Awake, Unravelled, Unleashed her inner beast,
Peeled back the layers, Uncovered the lioness beneath,
Who was she now? Who could she be?
The truth was, Her courage and will,
Would decide her trajectory."
(High rise building in Dubai 2008 my first awakening experience)
He instructed us to look down into the water and see our reflection. I moved toward the river that was lined with the most luscious green trees. The water was almost perfectly still, a slight ripple coming from upstream. I made my way to the edge with subtle anticipation. I planted my feet, closed my eyes, and opened them as I looked down. But it was not me that was staring back as my reflection….. It was…..It was a Lion, a bold, courageous lion with an imposing presence and mane to match staring right back at me.
It held my gaze, its eyes locked on mine, part of me wanted to run away from what I was seeing, but I was frozen in place, mesmerised by the moment. I noticed the eyes of this incredible animal before me, the eyes that I was so deeply connected with. They were a mystical green with a beautiful sandy circle around the pupil. They were so familiar, “Those are my eyes” I thought! They are my eyes! My eyes were the Lion’s eyes! My eyes were looking back at me……. “I am the lion” I thought, “I AM THE LION, THE LION IS ME”!
In this earth shaking moment I realised that something deep had awoken in me. That inner wild woman, that facet of my spirit and soul that I had buried away had risen to the surface, and I was not the weak, frail, lonely girl I had been feeling I was! I realised In this moment that what I seeked was within me all along, that I had the heart and soul of fearless, wild, Lion, and that I needn't keep searching. I realised that I was never alone, that I should not fear or doubt, and that I was capable of anything. Knowing that I had a courageous heart and fearless spirit, and that I had been holding this within me all along, I just needed to give her permission to pounce out into the world.
“Something was brewing deep in her soul.....
This need to express more fully, to reclaim those parts of her that made her whole,
To not keep those parts of herself in the shadows that longed to be free,
A wild woman was what the world was going to see,
No longer will she suppress for others, no longer will she hide,
She had awoken her Kali energy that had been resting inside,
Soft and strong, wild and free,
Magnetic, alive, connected to her intuition, answering her magnet and unleashing her feminine, divine energy.”
I gathered myself and the guide instructed us to move away from the water, to make our way on our journey through the forest. I was reluctant to move away from the magnificence of what I was experiencing in this divine, mystical moment. I was so captivated and lost in the gaze of the beautiful animal, and part of me, this REMEMBRANCE, that I did not want it to end. I wanted to hold onto this realisation, to this image, this understanding. But he instructed us to move on. And even though I was reluctant, I was also so eager to know what else this incredible journey and experience had in store for me.
I moved away from the reflection, my gaze trying to stay connected to the glimmering sheet of water as I watched the bold, beautiful face disappear and became just a shimmer across its delicious surface once more. I made my way through the forest down a path. I felt a little apprehensive again, and just as this feeling rose up inside me I looked to my left, and there it was again…..the lion. Walking right by my side, its presence created this magnetic cylinder of power that enveloped me with its embrace. An embrace of knowing, trust and completeness. It was magnificent, like I was bathing in this feeling of infinite possibility and power. I never wanted this feeling to leave me.
I breathed in so deeply in this moment. Feeling my entire physiology change. I held myself taller, stronger, my shoulders shifted, my chest pumped out in front of me. I was no longer a girl, but half woman, half wild. I went from weak to strong and uncomfortable to comfortable in all of me.