Healing Childhood Trauma with The Tarot

I was told some years ago that I, along with past and future female members of my family, carry an ancestral link carried on my mother’s side. Some may call it a curse and indeed that is exactly what I used to think, I was cursed. It didn’t matter what I did, I would never amount to anything. I was always going to be a loser, a doormat, a punching bag and a slag. I now see that I was given an opportunity. I don’t know why I bore the responsibility of healing the link, I just know that it couldn’t carry on. I didn’t want it being passed down to my daughter and granddaughters and continuing further into the future of their children and grandchildren. The burden and shame I have bore over the majority of my life has been damning. I have self-sabotaged my well-being repeatedly over the years, I was the biggest procrastinator I knew. I was so full of sh**! I believed my own crap. I was a victim. Pure and simple. I allowed myself to stay in the victim mentality for such a long time it was no wonder the ancestral link dominated me and my life. The low self-worth was there and there was no escape for me, or so it seemed. I am blessed with a thirst for knowledge and my dear dad used to tell me that knowledge is power and whilst that is true, I also think knowledge is only power if you take action with the knowledge you have gained. If you remain inactive, you remain stuck. I had a bank of knowledge that I sat on for many years, always thinking that only other people could change their lives for the better. It didn’t happen to people like me, the tainted. I have a strong connection with my soul, my intuition but it hasn’t always been that way. I made a decision that I wanted more out of life for myself and for those I love. I wanted to be a good role model for my sons and daughter, so they could see what a strong, loving, caring, compassionate and free-thinking woman looks like. And yes, they all think I’m weird but do you know what? It thrills me to be called weird, it means I’ve broken the mould. I invite you to break your mould. I now feel that my authentic self is in control, I am not getting by in life anymore, I’m now in love with life and I feel free and I have a happiness that reaches to the depths of my soul. Just by picking up this book, you have a deep desire within you to break free or maybe you’re just curious. Either way, your intuition has led you here for a reason. Take a moment and ask yourself what you want out of life, what are your deepest desires? What needs to change for you to be the best version of you today? Before you begin this journey, I want to tell you what my dear childhood friend once said to me. She declared, “You have all the right ingredients to bake the perfect cake, you’re just mixing it wrong”. I was mortified when she said that to me. I felt like a failure yet again, I felt like a knife was penetrating my back, I felt sad, even more lonely and even angry. Why would my so-called best friend say that to me? That wasn’t supportive, and it certainly didn’t feed the need I had to be felt sorry for! My friend was trying to help, and it took me a long time to process her statement and it lingered in the back of my mind for several years, but she was right. I do think we all have the right ingredients, some of us may have additional ingredients that are no longer required and so we need to ditch them. I know I have discarded so much out of date stuff and it feels liberating. I feel like I am my own person now, baking my perfect cake for me and by the most part, I can express myself honestly and freely. Notice I said most part? Mostly because there are times I am reminded that I am a spiritual being having a human experience as Dr Wayne Dyer put it. I need to continue peeling back the layers and going deeper to reveal what lessons I am to continue to learn. I do think that my whole life is one continuous journey of lessons. When I find myself questioning, Why is this happening to me? I now switch it for How can I make this better? I have released the victim mentality that kept me trapped for so long. I was never going to be able to be the best version of me with the victim attitude. I understand why I embraced the role of being a victim. It was easier. It was an easier life to proportion blame on to others, particularly my parents and siblings but do you know what? That thinking process kept me miserable, constantly thinking I was never good enough and that I was completely powerless to not only instigate change but maintain it. I know differently now. I know how empowered I am, how free I feel and how good .