Samadhi

The last evening in Santiago de Compostella, I go out on my own and take place at the terrace of a cozy restaurant. I enjoy the twilight evening and watch the setting sun in the beautiful, vast landscape. “Is this chair occupied?” I hear a graceful young lady asking. “No,” I say, and I keep staring at the setting sun. The sky is still blue, and in the distance, we see the sun changing color and pulling to the horizon to rise again elsewhere. Guana tells me that she’s from Peru, and she’s just graduated in Santiago de Compostella and now lives here. As she speaks softly, I read the light in her dark brown, nicely pronounced eyes. Together, we remain quiet, looking at the darkness that falls. The blue sky becomes darker, and the first star becomes weakly visible. The darker it gets, the more stars we see, and the brighter these shine. I sip the red wine that also accompanies me on this beautiful last night. “You know,” she says suddenly, “it is only when light is gone that you see the stars.” I nod and stare into the heavenly distance. Suddenly, I understand the deeper meaning of the words. It is only when the light is gone that we see the stars. It is only when the illumination is gone that the universe appears. It is only when I release rationality that I discover real knowledge. As a manager, I can strive for success and be satisfied with less than what I really want. And then I feel unhappy because I do not allow me to really live my own life. From childhood and strengthened by a misinterpretation of Levinas’s thinking, I have always put the other person first. Not realizing at all that it is not selfish to want a better life. The more I receive, the more I can give to other people. The universe does not want me to think that I have to do good for others, but then there is not enough left for me. The universe only knows abundance, and I cannot take anything from others because I want something to myself. Only when I was in complete darkness during my cardiac arrest did the universe show itself to me. This experience has taught me that there is no point in being afraid of the dark. Only when I put my thinking aside, I discover the universal wisdom. The only thing I have to do to get the global knowledge on my path is asking. That is what this Camino taught me, and it reminded me how I can really find my life assignment and let it blossom. “My feeling is my knowing” comes to me like an Atlantic wisdom, and I feel enormous positive energy pushing through me. Intense happiness covers me like a cloak. I realize now, at this place, that I have always been looking for life and tranquility. And my experiences on this Camino have made me more complete. It is time to cherish my happiness and to create and realize the world where I will end up. In the past, I was satisfied with less than I really wanted. But this will not happen again. I am no longer afraid of my own strength. I am no longer worried that others will reject me or stay away from me if I allow myself to radiate my inner strength. This Camino has taught me how to use my inner strength that generously comes from the infinite universe. For myself as well as for others. I have learned to accept my power and also show it to the outside world. I open my eyes and look at a bright silver band consisting of billions of stars. The sparkly stars smile at me and invite me to really feel at home in the galactic home port. I turn around and want to thank Guana for the insight she has given me; however, I see only an empty chair. A Peruvian angel has brought me the idea without many words and invited me to accept my own strength and show it to the outside world. Now I have learned to be a human being rather than a human doing. I have to do something with my nature.