I AM: This One Life

Introduction I am more than the person I had thought myself to be for the past 50 years. I have come to learn that I am not alone, I have come to believe I have a partner that has been with me since birth and even before, in fact, we have been together since the beginning of my journey many lifetimes ago. This partner is within me, a part of me, a larger part of me actually, a part of all that has ever been before, all that is and all that will ever be. It is the energy some have called soul, spirit, source or even God. The name is not important but recognizing the existence of it is crucial to the understanding of life. I admit it is not easy to accept this concept which makes so much sense to me now, I only ask that you follow me on this journey with the hope that you too will come to the same realization I have come to. At the very least I hope you will find this book to be a good read or perhaps even find some of its content to be beneficial. For so long I have listened to the different explanations given for the creation of life, the religious teachings, the evolution theory, the many interpretations that have existed all throughout history regarding all of them and the fervor with which men have tried to push their ideology on others, in many cases to try and control the masses for their own benefit. The answers to the questions about the meaning of life have been grossly distorted and in the attempt to explain this great mystery a myriad of interpretations have abounded. I believe that all the guidance we need is within us at all times no matter who you are, where you are from or what you believe in, we all have the same innate wisdom. The perfection that we are is so amazing and so simple to experience and understand that looking back I think, how did I not know this before? But if I had not experienced what I have experienced up until this moment I would not be here today, knowing what I have come to know. This may sound complex at first and even unbelievable but once it is put to the test and practiced it will become so natural that you will leave your past behind and you will start living the life you intended to live. I will speak in the first person and explain from my own experience, my own knowledge and the wisdom I have received through what I consider to be my teachers. I also hope that in doing so the reader will feel more involved in the experience and every time you read “I …”, something will resonate within. I am soul, source energy and at the same time I am flesh and bones. I am physical and non-physical, this is a partnership established long ago. My soul or source energy has been before, it has been in physical and non-physical stages for a timespan that I have no exact knowledge of and I find no importance in the recollection of who I once was. In this present lifetime I am becoming, expanding, growing and evolving as I intended to before I became this human body I am today. My purpose in life as I believe it is for all, is to enjoy the experience I am having right now upon this earth and in the process become more than I have been before. I have a guidance system that alerts me at all times and lets me know if I am on the right path or not. This source energy that flows in me, through me, and all around me, speaks to me in the form of feelings, whatever I feel at any given moment is the indicator of where I am at that precise moment. There are only two emotions I experience no matter what the circumstances are, one feels good and the other one does not. In either case, the source within is letting me know if I am on the right path or not. When I encounter any situation or experience, I have an automatic reaction, it may be a gut feeling, a vibe or a sensation, whatever the case may be, if the emotion that I have is positive, that means I am where I am supposed to be, and when it is negative, I am not. This guidance system, which I will call Soul, knows and alerts me in the form of a feeling, and feeling is the key word I want to really get through to the reader, for this feeling is the most accurate indicator of my wellbeing. If I am in sync with Soul I will feel good and if I am in discord with Soul I will not feel good. This sounds simple enough but since I understand it may be confusing I will explain further throughout this book. I have picked up a lot of characteristics, behaviors, beliefs, concepts and explanations along the path of whatever many years I have lived. The environment in which I was born into, the people I have encountered and those who have been part of my life at one point or another and the experiences I have had, have all conditioned me to think and behave a certain way and these patterns that I have accumulated along the way are so seeded in my mind that it seems almost impossible to sort out and discard all the possible negative influences. In my own experience, my history in this lifetime has been so destructive, that I almost had to undergo Electroconvulsive Therapy, formerly know as Electro-Shock Therapy. A lifelong battle with depression, fear, worry and anxiety brought me to where I am today. My path made me look everywhere for answers, many professionals, from clergy, to alternative medicine and even to the occult, were tried out in search of a solution but of course, none of it brought me to the solution I was seeking. My desire to feel well; to learn about myself and to understand myself created an incessant appetite for knowledge. I see now it was not all a waste of time, it was thanks to those experiences that I was being guided all along to reach for a better and perhaps even a more spiritual existence. I wanted so much to experience peace in my life; I sought out books on the subjects of motivation and spirituality; which felt very comforting at times. Before that, I had looked to religion for the answers to my problems with no success. It feels now like my Soul was always aware of my struggle, and it was. Soul just could not bring me out of my despair, however, it did try to and it did light some candles to show me the way along my journey. I know now that the universe could not really help me much in the state I was in for I was creating my own torture and was therefore not able to allow wellbeing in. You see, the universe is all, everything that was, is and will ever be. It is wise, it is eternal, it is nothing but wellness and goodness. When it is said that we are all connected, it is hard to understand this concept and I at best saw it as a vague possibility. The energy that creates this immense, ever expanding universe runs through all that is, and that includes you and it also includes me. Soul, the source energy I spoke of, is part of that universe, and it has access to infinite wisdom. For a long time, probably right up until recently that all sounded like an abstract concept, a fairy tail, perhaps just something weird people would say to try to appear spiritual and some of them are doing just that with much disregard for the wellbeing of others but now I know that it is not some fable, it is not an abstract philosophy but a tangible reality, and this is why I believe it.