Make-It-New Journal

Foreword This book is for those of you looking to be creatively present, seeking what you want, and going after the things that matter to you without sacrificing excitement. This book is for those of you tired of (or wishing to avoid) the “same old (fill in the blank) .” You, the one who sees the smiles of those around you. You, who watches them laugh off awkward moments. You, who wants to change what your response is to at least some of the mundane because you just want to have an impact on other people – positively. This book is for those of you who sometimes grit your teeth because you ignore your feelings (boredom, disappointment, and blues) all day long. Yes, it is for you who fake pleasure because suggesting what you want may be embarrassing. I wrote this for all of you who slipped into settling for whatever comes up because that's ““just how it's been lately” with your friend, spouse, partner, family member or coworker. Whether we're talking about entertainment, vacations, dinner or even lifestyle, you will see how “new” will do more than keep the peace, clear the air, and maintain a balance. New will energize you and transform the world around you. Imagine what will happen when you (unexpectedly, or not) lift the veil of another to showcase the vital, energetic, life beneath the humdrum or apathy? How would it affect someone else’s moment (day or life) if you did something new - for you or them? Probably not a lot. Then again, it's worth a try. Will Make It New change your life? You better believe it will. Just today I received an email pushing a marketing seminar. The copy read, in part: “If you are using last year’s strategies in the current market, if you aren’t out of business, you soon will be unless…” While this is most likely accurate for selling a product or service in this economy, it is a concept that goes against the grain in personal relationships. In fact, very often, what worked “when we first met” is just what is needed right now! Let's try a quick exercise that will set the tone for the rest of your reading. Make notes if that flash of brilliance hits you right now. Take a couple of deep breaths - after all, that's how we start everything nowadays, isn't it? Think about a time someone said or did something that energized you. Don't rule out you as the person doing something (we often feel good doing something for someone else). Play with that picture for a while, savoring the encounter at your fingertips, consciously accepting the feelings. Just as your emotions, your sensations, your responses are enjoyable to you, don't you think they will be a pleasure for someone else? In fact, you will probably enjoy them more, knowing you made someone else feel the same way. Go on, write what you experienced. Keep writing. You could probably fill a notebook with similar experiences. That's what you'll do here in your “Make It New” journal. Read what you've written. Use your words to make a plan. Close your eyes, and while you are feeling what you're feeling picture giving that same experience to someone else. Plan to share what you need to be happy, by gifting that “happy” episode to another. Add this feeling to what you want to accomplish in this world. Do it in your relationships, on your job, for the people you like and particularly your lover. This is just a small prevue of what newness made genuine in daily living is like. Making it new is not playing a part, or faking it, because it comes from within your own pleasure system. Make It New is all about finding your mini-joys, recognizing the receptiveness in others and delivering it to them. It almost seems like you are covertly encouraging your partner to stop thinking and become dependent on your words to guide their thoughts. On the contrary. You are, instead, freely giving them a NEW world that is just what they want in itty-bitty increments. Make It New is going to propose some ways we can return to the dutiful self, back to using our intuition and insight as we did when we were consciously trying to learn and grow in any aspect of our lives. Stories are told in the context of initial meetings or “first dates” because, for all relationships, social, career, or otherwise, it is the textbook comparison. Make It New isn’t just a clever couples practice, however. We characterize the myriad ways we are overlooking our dedicated selves in the missed opportunities; then we’re going to suggest ways you can change it. Make It New is going to remind you of scenarios based on accounts proposed by a number of contributors. While each of these stories produced our heretofore referenced “tickle,” it is understood that not everyone will have had the same experience in the same situation. If a given circumstance works for you, great. If the suggestion doesn’t work for you, well, you can skip it or take the chance that it may have a positive effect for those around you. There are practices we've “matured” into as if wearing an abstract guise that essentially fits our lifestyle You're going to replace these routines, layer by layer, with unquestionably caring activities. How Make It New is arranged Each part consists of chapters that center on a particular aspect of who we are or “where we live.” We start with some generalizations, then move directly to our primary relationship(s). Those other parts are addressed - learning how to fix the issue rather than dwelling on how we got so messed up. Each includes a qualifier section to illustrate a given area in our life, followed by views of those areas. You’re going to learn the lesson then have journaling areas to note plans and experiences. Acknowledging that not everyone journals, I've included topic directors in leading the way.