The Way Out

THE WAY OUT of Depression and Stagnation PROLOGUE Are you at a point where life has lost meaning? A time when the spark of enthusiasm has been extinguished? Sometimes the shift from optimism to depression seems to happen gradually without awareness of its' cause. Or, it may be the result of a tragic event. An illness, a death, a divorce, a loss of job, income or relationship can feel like ones world has collapsed. Roadblocks, detours and dead-end alleys occur for everyone. There are times each of us feels life is “on the rocks”. How long we remain stuck is our choice. Originally this was to be the sequel to “Confessions of a Caregiver”. An opportunity to look at how to prepare for the drastic change which occurs after the death of a loved one. The intention was to give motivation, hope and guidance to assist one in moving forward. However, the tendency to get stuck or not knowing what to do next is not limited to moving on after care giving. Each person comes to a point where it is necessary to “get off the pity pot” and get back into a productive, happy life. You too can “jump out of your slump” when you realize you're stuck and want to move forward into a happy, fulfilling life. Ready. Get set. Get determined. Begin your journey! Climb the ladder to a new awareness, freedom and peace. RUNG ONE: IN THE MUCK Stop Suffering An unknown author said, “If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.” This sounds like an obvious first step, yet many people do just the opposite. Life can sometimes seem like the water in a toilet bowl spiraling down into unrecoverable territory. When life has gone down the drain and the hole appears too deep to ever climb out, the tendency is to take the easy way. That is, to dwell in the problem which causes all energy to be focused totally on the problem. Concentrating on the problem brings forth a negative energy which is heavy and debilitating. At this point many people will claim they are exhausted, so tired they cannot do anything. In fact, they are because there is no positive energy to motivate action. Non-action is based on fear, insecurities and not knowing what to do. This resulting state creates an atmosphere which seems to surround, permeate and smother until one feels helpless. All energy, motivation and hope have been drained from the person. Every hurt and loss is magnified. Thus, the natural response is to give up and stop trying. Are you at this point? Are you exhausted with no energy to get out of the situation? This is a result of worry and hopelessness. Not only does it cause depression, it often manifests as an illness or illnesses. A depressed person takes this as giving further excuses to surrender and stay in the muck. They often invite or demand loved ones or caregivers to join in the misery. Without a way out, there is a tendency to blame others, to feel anger at those who have a productive life. It's as if the world is against us. We cry out, “Why must I suffer?” Of course, if you are depressed, you already know this. Depression is like a pit of snakes hissing negative thoughts into an already distraught mind. Life doesn't always seem fair and that hurts. Depression comes when we feel a complete lack of control. We surrender our power to the situation and those we deem to have control over us. We accept the belief we cannot tackle what has come upon us. However, at every turn we have a choice. We can succumb or we can accept everything as a lesson and learn from it. When we are in the horrible situation, the last thing we want to do is to accept it. At first, we may use our energy to strike back, even when there is no place to strike. The more a person dwells on a poisonous situation, the more the hissing thoughts and the stinging feelings one encounters. And, the more insurmountable the problem becomes. After the tears, anger and loss, along with the grief and hopelessness, we can shut down and not see any possible way out. Life is meant to go from one stage to another. It is just like going from one grade to the next through college or grad school and into the work world. Your stages may have been different yet, there was a progression. Along the way you followed the path as you saw it based on the choices you made. Very few of us want to acknowledge our life is of our own creation. Certainly, we do not want to think the bad conditions are a result of our choices. However, until we begin to accept responsibility and focus on the solution, we are stuck. The Law of the Universe is about moving. Everything moves. Nothing stands still. To stop living is violating the natural laws. To sequester yourself in the pain and suffering of your situation is to retreat. You thereby forfeit the opportunity to express your purpose, area of needed growth and the lesson you need to become a better, stronger person. About now you are declaring, “But my situation is different. It is impossible.” However, impossible is only true because it has yet to be achieved. Why We Get Stuck Coping with life's challenges can seem overwhelming to the point of doing nothing. Instead of reaching out for solutions, the mind plays the blame game directed at self or another. When the mind is full of excuses, defeat is accepted. The energy which could have been directed toward a solution is diminished until “I can't” becomes the overriding belief.