Beauty in Chaos

1. A THOUSAND SPIRITUAL DEATH CHAPTER ONE In this fast pace and complex world there is so much fear and uncertainty, it’s hard to hear the voice of our inner-self; traumatic world events, terrorist attacks, natural disaster and of course the demands of our daily life. This leaves most of us feeling stressed, worried, distracted and overwhelmed. Regardless of what is happening on the outside world, we must never neglect what’s happening on the inside world, our spiritual life, our vision, our calling. Navigating through the challenges of the outside world while managing our inner emotional turmoil is not a walk in the park, it’s a constant fight to restore hope, vision and control. But when our life’s perspective is no longer off balance, a life of love, peace and fulfilment is possible. A Disease called “Addiction” Often when we think of an addiction, we automatically think it’s drug related. An addiction is not just exclusive to drug related issues, it can be an addiction to things like shopping, gambling, sex, negativity etc… There is still no bigger addiction than that which we have conditioned ourselves to embrace, our tendency to self-sabotage. More than often we sabotage our own personal growth and happiness through the thoughts we have about ourselves and how we choose to respond to the outside world. The following is a list of addictions that remains a strong barrier to our personal growth. Addictions to our past and childhood wounds, addictions to playing the victim role, addiction to playing small, addiction to self-doubt, addiction to judgment of ourselves and others, addiction to blaming, addiction to wanting more and of course addiction to the story we keep telling ourselves on why we can’t live the life we want. We have allowed our pain and disappointment from our childhood wounds to haunt us. Our broken hearts from the one who got away left us watching “The Notebook” a zillion times, hoping we could have the same happy ending. And of course in reality love does not always have a happy ending. We hide from the past like it is a ghost on a mission to haunt us but we should embrace the past like a spiritual master embracing their students, happily imparting insight and wisdom to teach their students how to live life on the right path of peace and happiness, how to overcome obstacles in a positive way, and how to find truth and the courage to follow it. For a very long time, I was playing the lead role as a self-absorbed neurotic drama queen in the story of my life. I had allowed my emotional self to run wild in the deep rivers of life’s darkness and illusions. As Albert Einstein said: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.” I was too far into my self-destructive addictions to notice the miracles that surrounded me at the time. Like most addicts, I was living in total denial. I was unaware of my own self-sabotaging behaviour and how it was negatively influencing the life I had hoped to live. My journey from living in total darkness and despair to discovering the path of God, universal truth, self-love, healing and spirituality were never easy. The journey of the evolution of consciousness is hard but we should never turn our back on the gift of life. Life itself is the greatest gift and we need to live it as truthfully, consciously and congruently as possible. We cannot let the winter storm dictate how our summer will be, therefore, let us learn how to make our spring fruitful and begin to rejuvenate the life of our hearts and minds. Addiction to Fear – The paralysis of Fear In the movie “After Earth” Will Smith’s character Cypher says to his son “Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist... Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice.” We had let our fear of survival, our fear of abandonment, our fear of loss of love, our fear of the future, and our fear of not being enough to overwhelm us. It has left us feeling paralysed and stuck in the quicksand of self-doubt, non-action and helplessness. The Budda says: “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think” We have approximately sixty thousand thoughts a day and if we spent most of our thought energy on fear-based thoughts, then we will only create and attract life experiences that will reflect that thought vibration. And the same is true for the opposite, if we learn to think in positive affirmations, we will create and attract positive experiences that support the vision we have for ourselves and the life we desire. Blast through your addiction to Fear We can learn how to walk right in the heart of fear and blast it with courage. We can manage fear by choosing to focus on positive outcomes rather than investing in thoughts of unpleasant experiences and self-doubt. Thoughts like “we might fail if we try”, “people may treat us differently if we speak up”, “it’s better not to love again then to experience another heartbreak”, “I might experience shame and humiliation if I follow my dreams”, and “I am not good enough” puts a roadblock upon ourselves. It is a misguided use of our mental energy and a complete distraction to becoming the person we wish to become. "There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them." - Ralph Marston There’s a line in Bob Marley’s song Redemption that really resonated with me. “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.” We unconsciously compromise so much of who we can become and what we can achieve when we let our fear-based thoughts become the driving force in our lives. When we are afraid of something, we tend to imagine the worst outcome possible. There’s no greater challenge than conquering the self. There’s always going to be the unfiltered voice inside your mind telling you to give up even before you try. The ego voice inside your mind that says: “it is not possible.” If we allow ourselves to tap into the courage that exists within, our perception of life will also change. We will soon see the possible in the impossible. And life will begin to attract new and more fulfilling experiences. The fabric of illusions seamed together by our limited thoughts can only be torn apart by the one who put it there in the first place… “us.” There is a universal truth in a form of law that is: to every cause there is an effect. The law can also be applied in the physical sense, through the reflection of Sir Isaac Newton’s third Law of Motion which states that, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If, for example, you were to hold your hand over a candle’s flame (the cause) the effect would be that your hand would burn and it would hurt! While this is an extreme example, it serves to illustrate the point very well. Most people go through life at the effect of their external influences. They seem to let themselves roll around freely in self-sabotaging behaviours, blame and powerlessness. They have become stuck in their inner fear and non-action by becoming addicted to being a victim (the effect) rather than choosing to be in control of their lives by taking the responsibilities (the cause) required, accepting their role in their lives and managing their emotions effectively.