The Divorce Guide

Through my experience, I came to realize a number of things. Divorce is one of the most challenging and frightening experiences that most people face in their lifetime because they are forced to look at things about themselves and their situation that they may have been purposefully ignoring or had fallen asleep to. Divorce causes most people to have to re-define who they are in some or in many ways. Most people experiencing the divorce process are worried about their children, their finances and their personal identity in addition to the loss of someone that they loved. They may be facing profound loneliness, moving from a beloved home, changing their own and their children’s well-established schedule, even losing friendships once thought solid. This is perceived as a many-faceted assault on our well-being. The internal resources that you need to cope with all of this are difficult to connect with and summon because your fear clouds your confidence that those resources still exist within. In many cases, survival adrenalin is all that keeps one going. In any trial or difficulty, if you examine it carefully, the primary element that fuels and magnifies it is fear. Fear of the pain of losing someone and/or something we identify with, depend on and/or have an attachment to; fear of change and having to change ourselves to cope with it. What is really happening is that our ego is screaming that there is a significant threat to our small corner of the earthly universe. Our ego is attempting to root us to a place of inaction and smallness; clinging to the past and to what we know in order to deny that what is happening is actually happening. The ego lives in and promotes fear-based thought. Panic becomes a way of life if we relinquish our power to the ego. If you can learn to overcome your fear in each stage of the divorce process, the experience of it and the outcome will be driven by your higher self and not the fear-based ego self. If you can learn to meditate, stay in spirit and keep calm and confident in the face of prolonged adversity--which is what a divorce process generally turns out to be--this will positively affect your finances and well-being and the emotional and mental well-being of your children during the process and into your future. I would even venture to say that, to the extent that you are able to accomplish this, it will literally shape the next stage of your life in amazing ways.