Unleash Your Authentic Self!

Chapter 1

Who Are You?

If somebody asked you “Who are you?”, what would your answer be? Could you tell them in one sentence and how would you describe your self? Are you defined by your personality, your mind, your body, or the roles you play? How do you see yourself? You are so used to looking out to the world in order to make sense of it, because this is how you have been taught to learn and gain information.  Therefore, you have become conditioned to this way of being and so, have “forgotten” that there is another way to perceiving things. Our five senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell are used by us to make sense of the world. The paradox is that unless you understand your self first on the inside, you will not fully understand your self in relation to what is on the outside of you in the world, especially in relation to other people. What you see on the outside comes from what is already on the inside. You always get what you look for. Otherwise, you would not be seeing it. Also, what you see is what you recognize in your self, otherwise, you would not know it. This self I refer to is part of the personality. You are not your personality. You are not your body. You are not your mind. Who you really are at your core is the essence of your “Being”. It remains constant and always has. It is the deepest part of you that lies at your core, hidden from your conscious mind and state of being. Your higher self; Your Authentic Self gives rise to the “knowingness” you have, that seeps into consciousness at times. Your personality is shaped by the experiences and memories you’ve had in this lifetime, which gave rise to your habits, mannerisms and behaviors in general. Your Authentic Self just "Is" and is the Real you. Your journey through life is always moving towards Self-Actualization, where you come to know your Self. Challenges in life give rise for lessons to be learned. Every obstacle in life is an opportunity to learn who you really are. There is no such thing as mistakes, only feedback. We all learn from our mistakes, which in reality are feedback to become better for them. The more you learn about your self, the more you move towards your Authentic Self. Some people take longer for self-realization as they believe they must take the path of suffering by holding on, to get to where they need to get. Others take the path of self-understanding and awareness without such effort by just letting go and accepting. In this way, they move with steady momentum towards their source where true self-empowerment lies at the core. Integrating with your True Self, in this sense, allows you to live your life with freedom, joy, peace, love and happiness. Living life in bliss like this is possible. When you see it, you believe it, the saying goes. Well, when you believe it, you see it. Belief is everything. What you believe creates your reality, even your idea of who you think you are as well as your concept of your Self. 

What is Self Concept?

According to Carl Jung, the self concept is an innate blueprint that represents Wholeness and is the central balancing agent within every human. For Jung, individuation is the continual process of striving towards psychological maturity and self-fulfillment to spiritual enlightenment of this Self. This is achieved by integrating the conscious and the unconscious aspects of personality. The process of individuation allows you to see yourself ultimately, as an individual person in your own right. In attaining this insight, you can then interact with autonomy both in the external world, as well as internally with your self. In learning, through self-insight, how you were compelled to distort personality, you can then let go of repressions, resolve inner conflicts or traumas and rely more on messages from the subconscious. In balancing opposing elements of your personality, this allows for the integration of your conscious and your unconscious mind. This in turn, leads to psychic (mind) wholeness and unity. According to Jung, you develop psychically in a way where your best functions are enhanced, along with social or education pressures inducing conformity. In this way, certain aspects of your personality are distorted, because you actually believe you are who you appear to be, when you wear the social mask. Your protective social mask is the persona you adopt in society, while your shadow is the unacceptable traits of your character you fear to acknowledge. According to Jung, your self concept develops when you perceive conditions of self-worth from parents or significant others during childhood. By trying to fit in or comply with social expectations, you unconsciously repress or distort elements of the personality for approval or acceptance. The result is a distorted personality where you are incongruent with your true Self, by becoming a conformist people-pleaser for acceptance in society. 

According to Abraham Maslow, the goal of identity (self-actualization or authenticity) seems to be both an end goal in itself, while also being a rite of passage, as steps along the path to the transcendence of your identity. For Maslow, self-actualization is a continuing goal that humans strive towards. Maslow devised a pyramid of needs to illustrate how, once your survival needs are met, you move from satiated deficiency needs (D-needs) to being needs (B-needs). Once your D-needs of safety, love, respect, self-esteem and the need to belong are fulfilled, then you turn to B-needs which motivate you towards self-actualization.

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Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Self-actualization empowers you towards autonomy and individuation in restoring your true self. In this way, by having positive self regard, tensions and conflict can be relieved, thus allowing you to be creative and resourceful in attaining life goals to fulfill your potential. Exerting free will and choice thus allows you to have peak experiences, according to Maslow. In moving towards self-actualization, you move towards unity, individuality and a search for personal freedom and spontaneous expression. When freeing your self of the past, you can then find your natural self through a process of seeking self-realization, insight and self-fulfillment. Introspection, or looking inwards, is invaluable in facilitating this process of self-discovery, once all basic needs have been met. This process of self-discovery is self-directional, where you strive to achieve a purpose, realize potential, attain ambitions, expand horizons and improve life circumstances along a constructive growth path towards change and wholeness. Your true Self is the underlying essence of your Authentic Self where psychological freedom resides with positive self regard and where there is congruence with the experiences in life. Carl Rogers describes people who are becoming more actualized as having “(1) An openness to experience (2) A trust in themselves (3) An internal source of evaluation, and (4) A willingness to continue growing.”(Morison, p. 86). Self-actualization is the most important of all the entire hierarchy of needs. The fulfillment of all the other needs is for the purpose of self-actualization. Without aspiring to self-actualization, life can be wasted.  Self-actualization is brought about by integration of all the parts to be unified as a whole. 

Who Are You Really?

Your sense of Self determines how and who you are in the world. You are what you think you are, though your thoughts may not reflect the real essence of who you truly are. Sometimes, you can sacrifice your self for the sake of others.