Love is Forgiveness

A story of a woman and the journey she embarked on that took her form “Surviving to Thriving”- the struggles, the resilience, and the transformation.
This book is about my story, including the people, the principle and the practices that have changed my life and inspired my vision. This book was written not with the intention to impress you; instead, my intention is to inspire you and help you find the courage and strength to seek another way. I want to encourage you to let go of fear and trust your Divine Intelligence, a gift from our creator, and use it to gain your personal power so that you can be all that you were meant to be.
I don’t know if many of you could really imagine what it would be like to have your mother die after being murdered by your father, and then to be placed in a Catholic orphanage while suffering from mental and physical abuse. This was my experience. At age 19 I married, only to discover more abuse, and by age 24 I had four children that led me to take responsibility for the family well-being. It is not easy to conceive what a horrible trauma this would be, how it would affect those involved, and what the struggles to find peace would be because of it. Yet, this is the story of how I overcame the murder and found peace after decades of suffering from a traumatic life of abuse and memories that haunted me and to put an end to a tragic event that didn’t end with just that night, but instead, continued on, affecting my generation, and the generation of my children and grandchildren.
I hope reading this book will show you there is another way. That it is possible to find peace after insanity. With this book, I explain the exploration of self and the consequences of the human condition. I tell how each and every knot can be gracefully taken apart so that you can live the life you were meant to have and your Soul can fly.
I dedicate this book to my mother: Your life was taken brutally, leaving me the gift of courage.
And to FICAM: Florida Institute of Complementary and Alternative Medicine for a four-year journey into healing. Once I began studying and learning the quantum process of healing, my healing began with the understanding that the only person I needed to control and change in order to have a life I wanted was I. With much gratitude, I share this information with you that you so may benefit from the work I have done and heal your life also.
During these four years, I gained the knowledge that transformed my life, the understanding and the work involved in removing any hidden blocks, and developing the awareness to see myself as the source of this repetition of negative patterns. I learned how to access my power to change and to let go of what was not congruent with my True Nature, embrace my birthright with clarity and make changes so that I can live an extraordinary life and open myself to the flow of miracles in all areas of my life.
To heal, we must face the dark side of our mind that is unknowingly repressed in the unconscious mind/body, and embrace the confusion, emotions and pains accumulated in childhood that are now frozen energy held in the body stopping the natural flow of pulsation.

Chapter 1

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessing in disguise.” – Oscar Wilde

It is with Grace and Glory that I wish to inform you that today I am a wild woman, a woman with courage and strength. I am a woman who loves to dance, laugh, and sing, a woman that loves unconditionally, a woman with clarity. I am a woman of gratitude and freedom but, more importantly, I am a woman that knows she doesn’t have to be anything more than the “I AM.” Should you feel like shedding a tear, please know that a lot of good came out of my bad time and that polarity is part of our existence.

C’era una volta…(Once upon a time)…every child’s fantasy, every child’s dream, the story that kept me fantasizing, that one day, I, too, was going to find someone to love and rescue me.

As the world turns, I describe my story unfolding in three stages: Lina, an insult to God’s creation; Antonietta, a survivor and mother of four children; and the forgiveness process that led me to the awakening of “Jyoti” meaning in Sanskrit (The Light). The powerful dilemma of a woman, tormented with shame, seeking to find love, and finding it after decades of suffering as she took an inventory of her life and took the responsibility to put her past painful experiences of shame to good use which led her to discover Jyoti, who had been inside Lina and Antonietta all along.

Monday afternoon, my appointment with a therapist was scheduled at 3:45 p.m. I couldn’t wait to get there. I felt this huge weight in my heart, and somehow I had a feeling that going to see a therapist for the first time was going to make my life better.

Immediately, I sat down and cried my eyes out. “I don’t know what is happening to me. iam broken. I seem to cry all the time. I get emotional often and I can’t stop. I feel rejected, abandoned, and in pain.” I have developed this pain in my stomach that feels like a heavy weight wrapped and entangled with some kind of rope or fine wire that strangled each side and made it difficult to breathe at times. It felt like it was suffocating me as the weight would also be present in my chest and throat, traveling up and down my body.