No Fear, Just Faith
Letting Go of the Past
by
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Thankfully one Saturday I was given a gift of reprieve. I left my home early in the morning and had the shamelessness to stay out until late at night. Charlie violated his restraining order to send me a handwritten, grammar lacking letter, telling me… “I spent the best $2000 ever on a private investigater I got proof you doing drugs with your drugy friends in there drugy back yards in there drugy homes Im gonna nail you I got proof” I took the letter to my attorney who found it interesting because I had actually spent the day with him on his sailboat quietly breathing the fresh salt air and calming my shaky nerves. My attorney was a decent man who saw how much I needed a break. Besides that, we actually enjoyed each other’s company. He gave me a gift that whole day which I will never forget. I broke away from my reality and sailed. I have always loved the vast expanse of the ocean below me, the sky above me, and the sound of water all around me. Exquisite days were rare for me. I lay on the side of the boat close to the water sunbathing all afternoon turning my body to let the sun seep into me. I spun around hot and sweaty and slipped my toes into the cool, clean ocean at the very moment that a school of stripers glided effortlessly by. I slid my legs in and felt a chill jump up my burning back as I forced a breath before going all the way under. The water brushed me everywhere as my body spurred to the rhythm of the swells. I stayed under until all of the breath left my lungs and my face spired towards the boundless blue transparent sky only to respire once again and let the briny deep stroke all of me. My weightless body swayed and danced flawlessly consummating with the majestic body of water embracing me. I floated and treaded endlessly enjoying the simple pleasure of breathing. It was a grand day on the ocean for me. Charlie got arrested and spent $2,000 on bail. It was the first of three letters; one was a love letter.
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About the Book
Maxie grew up the daughter of immigrants who strongly believed in keeping family—especially extended family—very close. But in Maxie’s family the closeness only created a childhood that was filled with turmoil, abuse, betrayal, and finally abandonment. When Maxie was old enough, she educated herself and believed she had moved on with her life. She eventually had her own family, only to find herself facing an abuse and betrayal that was beyond what she faced as a child. Then one day something more awful than even Maxie could imagine happened that changed the course of her life forever.
About the Author
As a young child MP Ballester experienced the divorce of her parents, as well as, years of abuse and finally abandonment by her father. Her resiliency and love of reading kept her moving forward although her time with her father left her weary. She earned a bachelor’s degree from the University of New Haven in West Haven, Connecticut where she was honored to receive the Who’s Who Among College and University Students in America Award. Ironically, during her years in school she was also employed as a child care worker where she met many children whose suffering was similar to her own.
Shortly after graduation she married a man who professed to love her and support her choice to stay home and start a family. However, within the first five years of marriage she experienced the birth of her two children, and her own divorce from her abusive relationship with her husband, as well as, the loss of their family home. She spent fifteen years raising her two children in her childhood home with the help of her mother. The continued abuse by her then ex-husband exhausted the strength and resiliency she carried with her from her childhood. Unable to cope, she fell to despair and lost both of her children to her ex-husband.
Ultimately she arose again to regain her strength and her children. She acquired the wisdom to look back on her life and forgive the person who hurt her the most, her father. She let go of her past and freed herself from fear and regret. Today she lives every moment of each day to its fullest.