Your First Step to Re-Create Your Life in Oneness

Your life is a demonstration of who you were even before you came here… Every single experience you had, you have had and will have are because of who you were. I am saying “you were” because what you are can change now, in this very moment. Everybody who have been around you, are still around you and will be around you, are your reflections in different forms. Some come to show you something, some come to give you gifts, and some model you in certain ways so that you live your life fully, ways in which you cannot imagine.

It is very common to blame those who have brought us to this world. Many therapy sessions, hours and times are spent in forgiving them. Forgive what they did to us. What kind of a universe is this? Why did this happen to me and not to the others? Why have I had so much relationship issues? Why did my mother behave like this when I was a child? Why it was a constant struggle with money? Why my father was an alcoholic? Why did we move from place to place rather than having a decent settlement? The questions can go on forever. We can spend so much time asking them rather than answering them. And when we seem to find an answer, we end the conversation as others mostly being responsible.

I have had many discussions with clients/students who ended up saying: “I wish I was lucky enough to have a parent like that, so I would not be this way.” or, “I wish my husband was like that…” Against how much they read and became informed about spiritual and psychological facts, many still believed/assumed that life is just a coincidence and we are born to a family because it had to be this way. God assigns a role to us and we play it. Since there is nothing we can do about it, this circular thinking finds its reinforcement as recurring complaints of depression, anxiety, and all other sorts of pathologies.

This book will try to change your firm perspective by starting with questions such as: “What if there was no one assigning you to a family? What if your birth situation was because of who you were, not because of faith? What if, all your life, rich and poor, lovely or cruel, punishing or rewarding, is because who/what/how your being is? And you will answer: “So what? This is not big News to me. What’s the use if I was that way? Isn’t it impossible to change it now? Everything is all set before birth-the life I do not have any access now. What for?”

You are absolutely right.

If you look at it from your time perspective which is usually past, it is nonsense. If you look at it from a future perspective, again it is nonsense. But if you look at it from the present moment, if you can see what you experience now is because of who you are, what you think, feel, and behave and how you do it with others, then it will make a lot of sense. The reason I am saying this is because I have seen many of my previous clients and also friends who have been to countless therapy sessions but their life remained exactly the same. Nothing has changed but more and more exploration of who they were. No action for change came but forgiving after blaming and then forgiving… How much forgiving you have made showed how much progress you have made in therapy. “Today I have finally forgiven my mother’s punishing behavior when I was 6…”; “Today I could finally understand why my dad said those words to me…”; “Now I am finally content that after my childhood trauma, I am still alive, I should be grateful for that…”. Basically the result is some awareness, and may be partially accepting the situation and that’s it. Usually people leave therapy sessions, coaching programs with many tools for digging in, but not much tools for building something new. By putting it forward, I am not saying exploring is harmful, in fact it is the first step in understanding your life and why it is this way. But if you do not use that knowledge strategically, if you like going within more and more, you might end up experiencing similar problems all your life. That is why sometimes you might learn how to meditate deeply and beautifully, but you might be having constant fights with your husband/wife still.