The first time I saw Chester, my heart and soul leaped. I remember thinking to myself, “It’s you; you’re the one I’ve been looking for my entire life.” Little did I know that through him I would learn my greatest lesson: FORGIVENESS. He is now doing three years in prison. He had thick blonde hair that was cut in a wedge, green eyes, and a smile that could charm any woman. He was six feet tall, had a very fit body with great forearms and a golden brown tan. He looked like a cross between Robert Redford and Brad Pitt. I could tell he was athletic and his energy would light up a room. Most people liked him instantly; and, if they didn’t, he would charm them until they did.
The first time I met him, I was still married to my first husband, Luke; and I was at my friend’s house. He came running in with his wife and he was dropping off one of his five children. It was a brief moment, but one of those moments that stay with you for a lifetime. At a later date, at a basketball game, I found out that I had made the same impression on him.
Approximately two years after I separated from Luke, my first husband. I bumped into Chester at the little league baseball field and we started to talk. He asked me how I was doing and I said I was working in Livermore and going to school. He said his shop was in Livermore and that we should get together and I said, “Sure, How about lunch or golf?” My heart was beating so fast I thought my chest would explode. I felt faint. I couldn’t believe I was talking to him and that I might be going out to lunch with him. I told him where I worked and he said he would call. I remember calling my sister and my cousin and telling them how excited I was and how much I wanted him to call. About a week later, he called my office and my assistant told me he was on the phone. As he spoke, I felt as if I had an out-of-body experience and I had to remind myself to breathe. It took all my inner strength to contain myself from jumping up and down. “Wow, he called me! I can’t believe he really called!” I explain this to you now so you understand why I did some of the things that I did later in the book-not that this is an excuse, but so you can understand. No one else had ever made me feel like this. It was a feeling of euphoria, like a drug. I was addicted. When he didn’t call me back, I was heartbroken.
One year later I saw Chester again at the baseball field. He said “Hi”. I wasn’t going to say anything and just act like it was no big deal. He said, “Sorry I didn’t call you back.” I said “That’s OK. It’s your loss.” He than said, “Well I thought you just wanted to be friends and I wanted to be more.” I said, “Wow I really wanted to go out with you.” We talked for a bit longer and he asked if he could have a second chance and my phone number again. I was a little reluctant, but gave it to him anyway.
For our first date, Chester and I went to Outback Steakhouse. I said, “I don’t think this is going to work out because you’re Mormon and I’m Catholic.” He laughed and said, “Sure it will. You just need to convert over and become a Mormon.” I said, “I don’t think you will be converting me over. I am Catholic through and through and don’t plan on changing anytime soon.” We agreed not to talk politics and not to try and convert each other. It was a magnificent date.
On our second date, he came to my daughter’s dance recital and met my dad. Before he came in, I saw him in the car and he was talking to someone on his cell phone. I had a feeling it was a woman, but I didn’t want to act or seem like a jealous girlfriend. I found out later, he had been talking with his ex-girlfriend Sue.
For our next date, I went to his house and he cooked chicken and rice. It was very bland for a Mexican who likes spicy foods. I asked him if he had any hot sauce. He laughed and said, “Who puts hot sauce on chicken and rice?” He kept getting calls on his answering machine from his girlfriend Sue. He kept saying that he was sorry and that they had broken up. I, not listening to my intuition again, said “That’s OK. I understand.” I wanted him so bad that I didn’t listen to my inner voice that was screaming at me, “Run!”
We had a very nice time. We kissed and I felt like I had met my soul mate. I loved everything about him: the way he looked, the way he smiled, the way he smelled, the way he felt and the way he made me feel. That week we talked but I was so busy with school and work that I really didn’t see him much. That following weekend, I went out with some friends in a limo. When I got home, all I wanted to do was to go see him; so, being a little drunk, I went over to his house which was just a block away and we kissed and made out on the couch for about an hour. Little did I know he was still talking to his girlfriend or that his kids were watching us from upstairs. The next day, he called me and told me he was going through some difficult times in his divorce and with his kids and needed to end the relationship. I’m thinking, “What relationship? It hasn’t even started.”
Well, needless to say, I was devastated. This happened before Christmas. I went to a New Year’s Eve party at a friend’s warehouse and another guy friend who I had dated in the past told me, “Oh, did you hear? Chester is living with his girlfriend.” I felt as if someone had just kicked me in the stomach. I thought to myself, “Why did you need to tell me that?” I realized that I had hurt this dear friend of mine and he wanted to hurt me back.
After a year of dating another guy, Chester came back into my life. Three years into the relationship I learned about his dirty little secret. He was a sex addict. He was out of control. He phoned women for pay to have phone sex, met them to have sex and this happened ten to twenty times a day. His business, our relationship, his finances and his family suffered because of his addiction. After an intervention from God I found out his dirty little secret was much worse.