Feng Shui Coaching

Walking to the front door, I notice a path leading around to the back. A quick peek reveals a sparkling pool waiting for someone to cannonball into the middle of it. To the side of the pool area is a collection of outdoor toys and a stack of chairs. Overall, the backyard is large and inviting; a perfect place to spend a glorious afternoon like this one. Unfortunately, the invitation to play fades as I enter the home. Standing in the living room my eyes fight to adjust to the darkness from the drawn curtains and dim lighting. Looking around I observe a casual, comfortable space whose furnishings reveal this room was designed for large social gatherings. Yet, there are no other signs of life: no plants, no strewn magazines, no cookie crumbs. Adding to the uneasy quiet my hostess greets me in the hushed tones one hears in a hospital. Sadly the hospital analogy is not a coincidence; the man of this house, her husband, has cancer. I ask the wife how her husband is currently feeling. Holding back tears she tells me it’s been an incredibly difficult time for them both. Her husband has always been a vibrant, big-living man and though he’s now in recovery she feels he’s been drained of his bravado. She smiles weakly while describing how incredibly strong her husband had been right after his diagnosis. But her smile vanishes when she recalls how the treatments dragged on and the playful athlete retreated until one day the man she loved transitioned into a Cancer Patient. The tears pour as she confesses this is the first time she’s ever seen him scared and it terrifies her. Confident I understand the problem I assure her help has arrived. She answers with a tired but hopeful nod. Touring the once lively home I can’t help but notice an enormous collection of fun, family photos. From golfing in Scotland, to skiing in Colorado, each frame is a combination of laughter and outdoor sports. In the center of almost every picture stands the husband. I stop to pick up an especially engaging photo. Staring into his twinkling eyes I realize what this man needs more than anything is to find his joy again. My realization sparks two ideas for re-setting her husbands focus. My first suggestion is for her to gather every happy, active photo they have and create a gallery – nay an altar celebrating her husband’s love of life. My second recommendation is for her to transform their garage into a glorious golf clubhouse. Like a horse broken free from a harness, the wife leaps into action. Running from room to room stripping the photos from every surface she amasses piles of frames to choose from. Together we drop to our knees and begin laying out our design of the photo gallery. Once we’re satisfied, we agree she will hang the photos after I’ve gone. We then delve head first into brainstorming ideas for the new garage décor. Our clubhouse plan begins with painting the floor and making a simulated putting green. Golf clubs will be hung on one of the walls and a golf mural on another. For a finishing touch the wife is going to install a 19th hole wet bar/lounge where her husband can watch televised tournaments with his buddies. As she focuses on the enhancements, the wife is gaining energy. Clearly it’s been torture for her to watch her husband suffer and remain powerless to do anything about it. Dreaming up plans for the man cave is giving her a sense of purpose as well as a to-do list. Evidenced by her smile, she is now a woman on a mission. Later: The wife made all of the changes we’d discussed and more. Their garage received a complete overhaul and the husband absolutely loved it. In fact, he loved it so much he immediately banned all cars from parking in his new clubhouse. “This is all your doing,” she said to me, laughing wholeheartedly. “Sure he’s happy. But exactly where am I supposed to park?” As our mutual laughter faded her tone deepened and she told me about the photo gallery. Knowing it could be cathartic for her husband, she’d begun hanging the pictures before I’d driven out of the driveway. She’d chosen not to reveal any of our plans to him and instead kept a watchful eye so she could witness his reaction. At first, he walked right by the photos as he headed for the restroom located across the hall. It wasn’t until he stepped back into the hallway that he saw the display. From where she was standing she could see he was stunned. Moving in slow motion, he examined the altar frame by frame until he stopped on a particular favorite. Staring at the beloved image she heard him hoarsely whisper, “Oh yeah, there I am.” Simultaneously his posture straightened and his head began nodding in recognition of how he was still that man, that athlete in the photo. He then turned to her and laughed. A sound she hadn’t heard in months. Overcome with emotion she ran down the hallway and into his waiting embrace. Together, they laughed and cried, bonded in the knowledge they had finally begun to move away from Cancer and back toward Us.