Between the Tees

I had been practicing for over an hour when this — shall I say — older gentleman walked up to me and asked, "Are you Trent Anchor?" "Yes, I am. What do you need? I've already checked in at the pro shop," I responded. I assumed this guy was one of the tournament officials, though his dress was pretty sloppy for a tour official — but, heck, I was in Tennessee. "Nothing," he said, "not unless you want to switch roles and have me play in your place while you carry the bag. My name is Johnny Walker. I'm to be your caddy this week!" I was speechless. I didn't appreciate his little joke, and this guy had to be at least sixty years old, maybe older. He looked to be in fair shape for his age, so I supposed he could tow my bag around. Honestly, I wasn't sure about him. I was always used to having younger caddies — especially those playing college golf who understood the pressure that competition creates. "From the look on your face," he chuckled, "I ain't quite what you expected for a caddy this week, huh?" "No, you're not," I replied. "Are you sure you're up for this?" "Sure I am. The real question is whether you're up for this. You're the one that has to play well enough to avoid re-qualifying next week," he replied. "Okay, look, Mister," I began. Smiling, Johnny quickly responded, "As I said, my name is Johnny Walker. You can call me Johnny." "Okay…Johnny," I replied, then added, "Johnny Walker — is that your real name?" "Yep, and I don't even like the stuff, but I do enjoy a nice glass of red wine." "Okay, Johnny…I have three rules for my caddies." "Yep, I heard from the pro. You demand a low handicapper. I'm currently a 2.1 index on what you'd find to be a pretty good track. You want a caddy that can tell you the hidden secrets of this particular course. I've played here many times with my friends that are members here… and I've won my share of their money here too," he chuckled, then added, "So, I guess I meet qualification number two. Your last expectation is that IF you want my opinion, you'll ask for it. Is that right?" "Yep, those are my rules, and I'm the professional, so those are THE rules for you to caddy for me," I asserted. "Well, that's okay with me, with one minor exception," Johnny shot back. "Exception?" I responded — surprised, no, shocked. "What exception?" "See, I love this game," Johnny explained. "I really don't care whether I'm playing, watching, or caddying, like I will be today. So, I want to be able to totally enjoy every single minute any time I'm on the course. Now, I can't enjoy my time on the course when others demonstrate disrespect for the game, disrespect for others, or disrespect for themselves. It just spoils the round, like a day-old sardine sitting out on the kitchen counter. So, here's my exception. I won't give you any opinions of my own, unless you show disrespect of some sort." "Well, what if that's NOT okay with me?" I said. "Recognize — I AM the professional. This is MY livelihood we're talking about, and I need to be able to fully concentrate to play well. That's why I have MY rules." "Well," Johnny said, "if it's not okay, then you're probably going to be carrying your own clubs in about an hour, because that is MY rule, and there ain't any more caddies available on this short of notice. That I can assure you, and the local professional ain't gonna let you use a pull cart either. He hasn't let anybody use a pull cart here at Tennessee National since it opened. I know — I've tried. Now, what's your preference? Accept MY rule, or carry your own bag?" "I guess you leave me no choice," I said. "Ok, I don't intend to carry my own bag, and I do need your knowledge of the course, but what happens if I accidentally show some disrespect?" "Hey, you said you're the professional here. Don't worry about demonstrating disrespect, because real professionals would never show disrespect, would they?" he responded. Then Johnny simply asked, "So are we starting on the front nine or the back nine?" And that was my introduction to Johnny Walker — the individual most responsible for me being inducted into the Golf Hall of Fame.