The Ten A’s to an Amazing Relationship

Chapter 1: Attraction – That Ooh La La Feeling It all begins with that irresistible magnetic pull. You see them, and something in your brain goes, “Yes, you. I want to know more.” Some might call it chemistry. Others might call it fate. We prefer to call it the Ooh La La Effect- that magnetic cocktail of curiosity, admiration, and a sprinkle of magic. Maybe it’s the twinkle in their eyes, the way they laugh at their own jokes, or how they hold open doors without a second thought. But here’s the thing: real attraction isn’t just about looks. Looks might get your attention, it’s about being drawn to someone’s energy, their vibe, the little things that make them, well… them. The way someone carries themself, how they treat a waiter, their Netflix suggestions, the random facts they know about narwhals—it all adds up. It’s those little, seemingly trivial things that make you go, “Wow. You’re ... I like it.” And that attraction? It grows. Over time, that initial spark can become a cozy fireplace—or a full-on bonfire. Even when you’re both in mismatched pyjamas, with toothpaste on your chin and hair doing its own interpretive dance, you continue to find each other intriguing. You see, attraction hums whether you’re across the table, across the city, or halfway across the world. You are physically and emotionally drawn towards each other regardless of where you are and what you are doing. You just feel each other’s presence. There’s a sense of emotional gravity—an invisible string that pulls you toward each other. It's quiet, but it’s powerful. So how do you keep attraction alive? Here’s a thought: present the best version of yourself, not just during date nights and anniversary dinners, but in the Wednesday afternoons and Sunday laundry piles too. If not 100% of the time (because you’re not a robot), then at least enough to remind your partner, “Yep, I’m still worth fancying.” Because guess what? The “best version of you” isn’t static. It’s not locked in time with your high school yearbook photo. It grows, upgrades, and evolves—like software updates, but with more charm and less bugs. Don't fall for the "They've seen the worst of me, so why bother?" trap. Your better self doesn’t make the rough times disappear. It just makes them... oddly adorable. Like, “Oh no, we’re lost... but look at how grumpy-cute you are with that map upside down.” (Hey Amusement!) Now, let’s address the awkward elephant in the room: Why does attraction sometimes feel stronger with people outside the relationship than within it? You’re not alone. It happens. One moment you're feeling like the wallpaper in your partner’s life, the next, strangers are handing you compliments and showing interest to know you more. This phenomenon isn’t always about wanting someone else—it’s often about feeling seen, valued, and interesting again. The real question is: Have you stopped showing that version of yourself to your partner? Let’s pause for a mini self-check: • Are you showing up with curiosity for your partner the same way you do for new friends or clients? • Do you speak to your loved one the way you’d speak to a valued guest—or more like a food critic at closing time? • Have you slipped into “take me as I am” mode while presenting your “LinkedIn Premium” self to everyone else? Just because someone can handle your raw, uncensored self doesn’t mean they should have to all the time. This leads us to the not-so-subtle truth: Attraction is not a one-time certificate. It’s a lifelong renewal programme. Imagine a company that only impresses customers during the pitch. No follow-ups, no innovation, no effort to meet changing needs. That company won’t last long—and neither will the romance if we stop showing up. Great relationships are like successful companies. They: • Revisit their values (Alignment) • Recognize and appreciate contributions (Appreciation) • Celebrate wins together, big or small (Accomplishment) • Accept each other’s roles and differences (Acceptance) • And yes, still get excited when they see each other’s face pop up on caller ID (Attraction... plus a bit of Amusement) By now, I’m sure you already kind of realize—the As don’t necessarily work in isolation and they don’t have to work in sequence. Attraction might be where it starts, but it rarely stands alone. Want to keep the Ooh La La alive? Stay curious about each other’s new versions. The you who binge-watched cooking shows last year might now be deep into rock climbing, pottery, or making kombucha in the laundry room. Embrace the evolution—just like you’d get excited about a software update that finally fixes the lag. Every season of life brings new quirks, challenges, goals, and dreams. That means new learning needs, wardrobe adjustments (hello, reading glasses), shifting responsibilities, and different ways of dealing with stress. Are you growing together—or just side by side? So, before you ask “Do I still love them?”, ask this: • Do we still see each other? • Do we still bring out the better versions of each other? • Do we choose each other every day—not by default, but by admiration, respect, and desire? Because that, dear reader, is the kind of attraction that doesn’t fade. It adapts. It deepens. It becomes that cheeky wink across the room even after 20 years. It’s the kind of love that gets better with age—like wine, cheese, or your partner’s dad jokes (eventually). So go on—give each other a reason to say, “Ooh la la… still got it.”