Remembering the Cosmic

Prologue – The Way is Lost “Nan's going to die today.” Chloe announced - squinting in the early morning sunlight. She shuffled her way to the breakfast bar and poured her herself a big bowl of cereal. “What ever happened to good morning?” Her father mumbled into his tea half a second before his brain registered what she had actually said. Chloe looked at him and noticed that his usually quaffed hair was dishevelled as he'd absent-mindedly run his fingers through it while he read the morning paper. She could smell his aftershave which somehow made her feel safe and cared for - the familiarity of it speaking to the small child she once was. Chloe's mother looked up from making the school lunches. “What did you say?” Her voice had a hysterical edge to it. Not waiting for Chloe to answer her question she continued “I can't believe you just said that!” She loved her firstborn daughter but was exasperated and disturbed by her recent increase in odd behaviour. Clare was a petite woman who was always busy. She was incredibly practical; but it was hard to feel relaxed around her. Chloe resented how Clare's busyness made her feel guilty about taking her time to do things - or even just relax and read a book. “You've gone and upset your mother again Chloe.” her father growled. He only seemed to respond to anything once he'd realised Clare had decided something was a problem. Scott and Hazel - Chloe's two younger siblings, looked at each other with glances that said “Here we go again!” and made moves to exit before the shit hit the fan. Chloe felt irritated. Why was it that they could never accept anything she said? She was so sick of being misunderstood and treated like a nutcase or a liar. As she looked down into the cereal bowl where the flakes of corn had started to go soggy, Chloe sighed and then spoke slowly; as if speaking to a dim-witted child: “I said: Nan. Is. Going. To. Die. Today.” “Don't be smart to your mother!” “Look, Dad. I'm only passing on Nan's message. She came to visit last night and asked me to tell you so you could see her in the rest home before she goes.” “Don't be ridiculous!” her mother scoffed, angrily stuffing a sandwich into a bag and not too gently putting it into a lunchbox. “Nan certainly didn't visit here last night!” She turned to the sink and tried to manage her rage. This wasn't the first time Chloe had recounted something fanciful at breakfast. Clare had previously put it down to Chloe having a vivid dream life; but this was the first time she had come out with something so cruel. She glanced over to Frank and shot him an exasperated look. He returned the eye contact and sensed that Clare needed to talk. “Chloe, go to your room.” Frank had lowered his voice, which was always a sign of danger. Chloe fled the room and moved briskly up the hallway passage. She walked to Scott's room and found him and Hazel there - just as she suspected she would. “I wish you'd just shut up about your dreams, they're going to be in a foul mood all morning now.” Hazel spat as she walked through the door. Chloe expected this response from her; she'd never understood Chloe's “knowings.” Chloe looked at her younger sister. She was attractive in a cheerleader sort of way, her wavy brown hair tied into a high ponytail, ready for school. Her uniform was crinkled as she had a habit of throwing it onto the floor at night instead of hanging it up. “It wasn't a dream!” Feeling panicky, Chloe sensed the increasing isolation paralysing her like a straitjacket. “Gotta leave for school in fifteen minutes anyway, not that big of a deal.” Scott, three years younger than Chloe, was the pragmatist of the three. He was a sensitive child who hated any kind of conflict. It was often his role to be the mediator between the other two. Although she was a year younger than Chloe, Hazel was the spitfire of the family; and Chloe was often on the receiving end of her temper. “Yeah, but who's going back into the kitchen to get the lunches dumbass?” Hazel raised an eyebrow at Scott and turned her anger toward him instead. He shrugged his shoulders. “Well, it can't be Chloe. She'll just piss them off even more. Paper-scissors-rock you for it.” Hazel was irritated that he never got angry at Chloe for the conflict she caused their family. She only ever heard her parents fight about two things; Chloe (often) and money (occasionally). “Sorry!” said Chloe defensively, not sounding particularly sorry at all. “I'm only passing on Nan's message. I didn't want her to get angry at me for not telling them. It's her last chance to say goodbye to everyone.”