The Art of a Rosebud Relationship

Old systems and paradigms that are not serving the highest humanity are falling away to be done away with. Nature works in cycles. And this cycle has almost played out. New generations coming of age and stepping into adulthood seem less and less desirous to model their lives exactly in the way of the parents, and grandparents. Many people coming of age also are not in a financial position to live in a one income earning household. A few years ago I visited the Bay area to connect with a friend and stay with her for the weekend. She lived in San Jose, CA. She lived in suburbia. I wondered why there were so many cars in the driveways of her neighborhood and she pointed out that in order for many to afford to live there, lots of friends had to hunker down and bunk up together. She personally was there living with her ex husband, her new husband and her child from her ex husband. Many would say this is crazy, but it was a requirement for housing and survival. And it has only gotten worse and more expensive since then. Many people that I know personally, and beyond, are getting the call to create a whole new type of community. A smarter way of living and creating their stability base with a more “tribal” way of living and relating. Communities that are naturally more conducive to “it takes a village” mentalities to raise a child. This philosophy hasn’t really been applicable in the most recent day and age because it wasn’t set up to be. Maybe we have to take into account what a “village” truly looks like, and consider that maybe this should expand just beyond one household, one family and one cookie cutter way of doing things. In my personal observation of parenting, and observing parents, I feel that it is highly beneficial for children to have multiple models of behavior to pull from. The closer proximity the better. We live and learn by example. This way of living can show children models of what they can like and admire and aspire to be like, and also examples of what they dislike and detest, and hope to never be. I truly think both are equally important. We need the whole picture. The world is a stage and we are here to learn from others. So what types of relationships, beyond the romantic, are we modeling to our children and why? I understand this is a topic that not many people think about in the way that I do. I have always been labeled by those around me as a deep thinker, and for many it was eluded to, in a negative tone. If the ocean only had surface fish it would be so so boring. Deep sea diving is an activity that the adventurous fishermen seek. Surface fishing also isn’t for everyone. In my humble opinion, a new open society model for relationships, focusing on and holding space for REALationships, could be exactly what’s needed to joyfully evolve our society. Many of us are all deeply craving change, whether we know it or not. Craving a new way to connect, relate and evolve. Or maybe an old way. An ancient way. A tribal way. It’s obvious to me as a future seeing empath. But for many of us it consciously resides just below the surface. Let’s glance at divorce. But first, let’s look at marriage. Marriage. Love. Romanticism. Romantic love and Disney idealism. Here we have a society standard in which, as women, we have been modeled it since childhood to look and attract and seek our prince for our whole life until we land one. Once we find him, we get married. The movie is over. Cinderella doesn’t have to go into the nightmare schematics of sharing a bathroom with her prince for a lifetime. That’s not in the movie. This is the part, if it was in the movie, that would be the demise of the fairytale. Once you get married or live with a romantic partner, we’re somehow expected, while not taught, how to live in a world where there’s someone you regularly have sex with and wonder,“who’s turn is it to clean out the gross sink?” and share in the mundane. No one is taught this. The fairytale ends at marriage. No fairy tale talks about “what’s next”? I didn't see it in Cinderella 2. We’re all expected to wipe the fairytale dust out of our eyes and figure out this part on our own. It’s an “unmentionable” and therefore it seems our world is mostly living in 50% of reality and expecting it all to be a fairytale. Basically the cliche movie/fairytale ends at the actual beginning of the real story. But no one tells you that. The stories we are given over and over and over and over hide away all of the unglamorous and un-fairytale-like parts. It’s like a giant trick if you think about it. Suckers. No “fairytale" goes into discussing all the little habits and analysis of what having a sudden laser focus on one person looks like. Laser focus on only one thing inevitably leads to noticing every little thing about that person in a severely unhealthy way if we’re being honest. Microscoping. The formula is set up that way. This person who you loved and led you to the “happily ever after” suddenly starts to get on your nerves, sleep farts, and has gross untidy habits that may drive you insane. Then we have children to add to the mix and throw in the new mom nightmares, like the first poop you take after giving birth. Or the flood of new emotions and depression that can come in when you realize that your dream life in reality is borderline unfulfilling.