Not Another Diet Book

I don’t remember the exact day or moment I realized I was the reason I didn’t have the life I wanted. It wasn’t all at once—rather, it was a slow progression of understanding. Somehow it all came together with one paramount realization: I needed to get out of my own way and allow myself joy. Joy with no strings attached. Joy that was not connected to a goal weight or zipping up my skinny jeans. Joy that didn’t have a flag in front of it marking some far-off destination I had to make my way to before I could prove my worthiness to myself. I finally started to understand that I could chase after happiness for the rest of my life, but I would never be truly happy until I appreciated the bliss already around me. I know now that happiness isn’t a place you go. It is not a spot to be found or a prize you win after losing twenty pounds or remodeling your kitchen. True happiness is only found in the now. Being present and active in whatever moment we find ourselves in. The difference between fine and fantastic is knowing you can’t wait around for magic to happen. You have to make it. Find it. Create it. But most of the time, be willing to see it. See the extraordinary right here, in this ordinary moment. And having the ability to do so starts with treating our physical beings with kindness. Caring for ourselves fully—nourishing our bodies and minds with foods, actions, and thoughts that are in alignment with the person we wish to be. Understanding that we are not only our roles and our waist sizes. We are so much more than mothers, teachers, partners, waitresses. We are not our bodies, our bellies, our boobs, or our arms. We are the knowing underneath those things—hundreds of qualities that cannot be taken or stripped away. We are our kindness, our laughter, our caring, our hope, our potential, and our light. Figuring out I was not the asshole voice in my head and separating myself from its constant chatter did not come without work. I thought I was my thoughts and let myself run away with every dickhead thing I had to say about myself. Some days I was too fat, others I was too lazy. I looked decent enough on a few. Some days I was failing as a mother and a wife, and others I was doing all right. It was fine. But I wasn’t fine. Now, staring out the window, I am filled with gratitude for this moment, where I am at this point in my life. I can run through hundreds of things to be thankful for, list reasons to be overwhelmed with gratitude, and I do that before I rattle off all the things that may annoy me. Happiness is my default. Joy is my baseline. Abundance is my birthright. Miracles are always happening around me. I only need to look into my children’s eyes to confirm it. And if they are not around, I can find a mirror and look into my own. I now understand I am a blessing. What a blessing we all are. I am the savior I have been waiting for my entire life. I have found life does not need to be uncommon, rare, or unique to be amazing. There is extraordinary to be found in the ordinary. This is not a book written by a guru. I am a former fuckup in every sense. I wasted years of my life being the messiest little mess. But today, less than a week away from turning thirty-eight, I am doing fantastically. I am thriving. Living my dream life, writing these words while I sit in my living room in a house that probably looks very much like yours. Because I am just like you. I am normal. Very much average. And fucking fantastic. This is a book for women who are like me. Who are doing OK but know OK isn’t what they came here to be. Women who struggle with basing their worth and happiness on the number on the scale and the image in the mirror. Women who know that, objectively, everything in life is fine, yet they can’t seem to get out of their own way. This is a book for anyone who has been fighting a war against their body and knows that internal war is the main thing holding them back from happiness. Self-education, self-exploration, and self-love are not reserved for certain people in certain bodies with fat bank accounts and good skin. These things are a birthright—yours to claim if you are willing to work for them. But be aware—there will be work. Take it from someone who read all the self-help books in print: nothing changes unless you are willing to make changes. And some of those changes will make you uncomfortable. Know going into this that those are the changes you likely need the most. All the knowledge about self-care and self-love in the world mean absolutely nothing if we do nothing with it. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is look in the mirror and tell the person staring back at you to stop fucking your life up. We tend to be our biggest roadblocks, which is a blessing because if we are the most significant thing standing in our way, we can call out our bullshit and move forward. You know the saying—you have heard it many times, and I will repeat it because you must understand its truth: You are the savior you have been looking for. You are your own guru. You deserve magic, miracles, unapologetic love, complete acceptance of your body, and joy. Sink-your-teeth-into-it-and-savor-every-second-of-it-type bliss. You have everything you need to create an extraordinary life. You always have. It’s time to see it.