Sitting with the Within Masters

One does not receive from Within Masters or write about such concepts when everything else is taken care of or calm or peaceful or even perhaps status quo. At the time of this writing I was in a slow-motion conflict with my twenty-six year old daughter. In my mind it was the second time in our shared lives that we had slid downward on a relationship path that possessed a potential to inflict lasting damage. What do my daughter and I have that works against our relationship? There is a forty-year difference in our age, which sounds benign except by today’s rate of cultural, gender-related, ethical, and other societal change it cannot be overlooked. My daughter is a Leo, an extrovert, a primarily dominant personality type, who can also flex into other roles that will be discussed later. I am a Pisces, in introvert, and a nurturing type also capable of playing other roles to one degree or another of success. Some ingrained habits also are one-hundred-eighty degrees apart: I tend to default to Other; she defaults to Self; She tends to dwell in her Heart; I dwell in my Head; and so on. In our family there is a history of mothers hating daughters and vice versa, and hate is not too strong a word here. Archetypal familial tendencies prescribe daughters get along better with fathers and mothers favor sons. We have a lot working against us. At the same time, all that I’ve described above would or could have no impact whatsoever on our connection if we were large enough and willing enough to deal with each present moment as it came to us. If we assigned no hidden deeper meanings to each other’s actions and words, if we held in mind that each of us was doing the best we could with what we had in any given moment, we could have against all odds created a loving relationship that served both of us. What do my daughter and I have that supports a healthy relationship? We are bound my being blood relatives; although, the meaning behind that is not clear to me. I just know one can’t divorce one’s family, yet figuratively and physically one can. But that was not an option in my mind; I can’t speak for my daughter. Here is another thing we have going for us. Only a matter of weeks ago, we sat on the deck of a house that looked like a home Frank Lloyd Wright had not only had designed but still lived in it — a dark wood paneled and floored home with long overhanging gables sheltered by huge pines and deciduous trees. On the little cafe table at which we sat on round chairs I laid out and opened a large journal, which the leaf-filtered sunlight highlighted. It was a journal I had written for my daughter, and we discovered together, that I had begun it six months prior to her birth. I had written it to and for my daughter. It began, “Dear Child,” as she had not yet a name. We leafed through pages full of pencil-written messages and narratives, tiny water colors, clippings from newspapers, programs, letters, and more — even a lock of hair from her first haircut. Guided apparently by the Divine, we landed on certain or random pages chronologically, read a little, laughed, and found amazement. In my mind, this is the best memory I will ever have in life, bringing joyful tears to me every time I reminisce upon those thirty minutes together. I could die today happy to have lived for and content being completed by this moment. This memory alone is what my daughter and I have in our favor: a rich twenty six years in a shared arena of life. My daughter has been my most influential, flesh-and-bone guide. This book is partially inspired by her, by applying the insights I gained in the writing of the book. I can’t help but believe my Within Masters constructed events in my life that assisted me and will assist and impact Others. I hope my daughter too will benefit from it. One thing is certain. Struggles are a state of mind. The truth behind that is that life does not have to contain a single struggle if one’s will is aligned with being authentic and if one allows one’s self to be vulnerable in order to learn. Life on Earth is one long and very detailed feedback system.