Be Fabulous at Any Age

CHAPTER SIX OUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH We have come to reconcile that energy of emotion and matter are one and the same. The order of development in our emotional consciousness follows us throughout our lives. Consciousness is being aware of ourselves, our surroundings, how we are affected through our senses, and how we affect others. It is a matter of being present. The circumstance of inability to function as a complete adult is the result of an incomplete transition during puberty. Conscious ego is one that transitions from unconscious to conscious during puberty. It is fragile ground, but more easily adapted to and resolved if the foundation of living within the framework of cycles, seasons, and routine has been established early on. If not, the conscious ego begins to repress the unconscious ego, resulting in an overvaluation of oneself. This is a sign of immature consciousness and may be compensated with extreme emotions, such as self-destructive hatred or even suicide as one of the symptoms in puberty. The other face of hatred is directing negative thoughts at family members or animals. Narcissism is a transitional phase of the ego during the consolidation period and is dangerous when one becomes stuck in one’s developmental stage of puberty by not completing this important cycle. By going through pre-planned experiences of purposeful change in our environment on a seasonal basis (every three months), we become more adaptable to unexpected change, which makes us more successful in overcoming adversity. After the states of adolescence and narcissism are resolved, then we move into the next phase of development, which is empathy. Only after that is completed do we become grounded adults who have a deep understanding of self-feeling and experience as a reference point. Now, we may take our rightful place within the collective consciousness because we understand how it feels and can relate that feeling to others. Our emotional health relies on and affects our relationships. We may seek partners who have a script that is a mirror reversal of our own, hoping we can resolve the pain of old wounds from their or our childhood and adulthood. Each of us has intentionally put to sleep or is unconscious of certain parts of ourselves. In this state, we dream up fearful imaginings about our intimate partner. In disowning parts of ourselves, we make them “other” or foreign and overreact when we see them in our partner. Most serious relationship conflicts are fueled by this kind of projection. It is expressed by recoiling in an exaggerated way. If one is afraid of one’s own anger, just the thought of our partner’s possible anger will feel overwhelming. If one can’t stand one’s own needs, this makes one claustrophobic. Reacting to a partner’s anger or need by pushing that person away comes from our fear of experiencing those feelings. In this way, the inner struggle turns into an outer struggle with the partner. Anger has a huge effect on our skin. Being in an angry relationship is detrimental because it affects the production of endorphins that create our inner and outer glow. In some strange way, our larger intelligence is what draws this paradox together with an inner knowledge and hope that we can help each other heal old wounds and recover the important missing pieces of ourselves. Yet, the healing cannot occur as long as the two see each other as the source of fear rather than the source of resolution. When they choose the second course, couples can awaken from old scripted behaviors and address their needs and fears, developing a stronger connection. Our mothers may have communicated that our partners affect our social standing and ability to raise children, but they may not have known or mentioned how they can affect our beauty from the inside out. Our appearance can change as we change our partners: we adapt to match their traits. Even adopted children take on traits of their adoptive parents. Again, we continue to press on the idea of awareness, awakening, and self-care for healing and living. Only when we become honest with ourselves do we become vulnerable, and only when we are vulnerable do we reach out for spiritual strength. That is when we truly become strong and complete and our integrity starts to take part in our actions. To me, there are two main components to true happiness: honesty and gratitude. Honesty is the place you start with yourself and others. Being honest keeps you solid and stable; it affords you peace. Gratitude allows you to find happiness in the place you are at and will stop you from losing that place. Gratitude will expand your life and allow you to reach your potential. Kinesiology is a discipline proven to be very helpful in addressing emotional health issues from energetic and hereditary sources. It has the ability to identify and eliminate the old opinions and belief systems that are no longer serving you. This technique eliminates the obstacles from your life and replaces them with those that create harmony and happiness in your life. Seasonal Tip: Ask yourself if the reason you are attracted to a relationship could ever become the reason you would walk away from it in the future. Digesting Emotions It is obvious we need physical food, but we also need spiritual food. There is a relationship between the amount of physical food we eat and the amount of non-material food we consume. One offsets the other. This balance affects our perception of the immediate environment and the scope in which we can reach other levels. Physical and material foods are consumed through our mouth; non-material foods are absorbed through our nervous system and meridians. We must have both in order to be spiritually sound. Awareness and flow with our environment reveal this simple path to self-care. Our behaviors do affect ourselves and others. Knowing this, we must first balance ourselves in order to achieve healthy relationships. When you think of emotions and how they can affect those close to us, consider insecurity. It is one of those emotions that can do incredible damage. It can affect the heart and the reproductive organs and create diseases. Jealousy is an unhealthy representation of insecurity and greed. When we are calm and in rhythm with life, these emotional states do not frequent or dominate our thoughts or behaviors. Our spirit is represented by the endocrine system that consists of the pituitary gland, thyroid, thymus, digestive organs, and reproductive organs. Imbalance that happens in the pituitary glands affect hormone production and our thoughts. If hormones are not produced regularly, they can cause an imbalance in women’s menstrual cycles and an emotional imbalance in men. Both will experience effects in their digestive systems. The digestive organs consist of the adrenal gland, spleen, pancreas, gall bladder, liver, kidneys, and intestine. Any imbalance here can cause bile and gastrointestinal disorders. Constant GI disorders weaken the sensory ability of the intestine and its messaging to our brain. As you can see, our emotional health is closely responsible for our digestion and our weight. Greed, as a governing emotion, can cause excessive weight. On the other hand, giving away too much of anything, including abandoning oneself, can cause one to become underweight. The brain tells our body to make cells. When we have emotional or physical problems, this messaging is not taking place. This is why people can deteriorate so rapidly in health with the loss of or separation from their loved one(s). The emotional distress affects the bodily functions. This helps us understand how real the words “love sick” truly are. This is why people feel they could die from loss of love: they really can if they do not take care of themselves.