Life 101: 21 Practical Personal Growth Principles for the 21st Century

Introduction

Congratulations! Because you are reading these words you are about to embark on a journey of discovering simple secrets to optimal well-being. Life 101 is a simple, concise, practical and effective tool for people who want to learn basic personal growth principles in a hands-on and concise format. This succinct manuscript is designed for the Digital age; where we are accustomed to getting information quickly, efficiently and in a practical manner, i.e. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Etc.

I majored in psychology in college hoping to learn basic useful principles about how to live a happy and useful life, but instead found heavy philosophy and often useless theories mostly written by long-dead men. Psychology has a long tradition of focusing on pathology rather than wellness. While the emerging field of Positive Psychology is changing that dynamic, there nevertheless remains undue focus on pathological behavior and less emphasis on techniques for a normal individual to find strategies to live their best life. Life 101 focuses on maximizing your potential and optimizing your wellness.

Life 101 is designed to be read as a simple manual for how to live the best life that you are capable of living. What I have come to find is that the content of the many different source materials I have consulted in my unconscious attempt at becoming a self-help guru ultimately say the same thing. Emotional wellness does not have to be complicated! There are very simple and effective methods to live in a state of well-being. I won’t try to pretend that anything I am writing is an original thought, as these basic ideas have been expounded and expanded upon by numerous luminaries over the years. But the voice is mine and the straightforward interpretation of lofty principles and ideals is my attempt to make personal growth and self-improvement possible for anyone and everyone, simply and effectively.

Open your mind. Take a deep breath. And get ready to begin the journey on becoming a conscious creator of your life.

In love and light,

Ashley Connolly, M.Ed., LPC – September 2015

Principle 1: Thoughts Are Everything!

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds to be.”

-Abraham Lincoln

From books promising you abundance, joy, a soul-mate, and more if you can only think positively, to academic and philosophical journal articles about cognitive-behavioral therapy; the message is the same – pay attention to your thoughts, and then choose good ones. The basic premise behind nearly all effective ‘self-help’, spiritual or psychological programs is the very basic idea that 1) our thoughts create our emotions, 2) that very often these (negative) thoughts are not true, so 3) to change the way we feel we need to change our thoughts.

The key is to examine our thoughts and to become conscious and aware of their content. Is your inner dialog kind? Do you speak to yourself in a loving manner? Honestly look at whether the ticker tape in your mind is a ticker tape of love or one of fear. Your self-talk ultimately determines your self-worth. Tell yourself you are beautiful, funny, joyful, happy, abundant, loving, good, worthy, satisfied – even if at the time you don’t necessarily believe it. Change the inner dialog.

If you feel that your thoughts are not necessarily representative of self-love, complete this simple exercise. Choose three or four sentences from the list below (or write your own) and commit to memory. Any time you notice negative thoughts, stop and repeat your personal mantra out-loud or internally, even if at the time you don’t believe it.

I am loveable.

I am beautiful.

All is well in my world.

Life is good.

I am joy.

Joy overflows in my life.

I love life.

I love me.

I am happy.

I love everyone and everyone loves me.

I am love.

Love is everywhere.

My personal mantra is “All is well. I am blessed. Thank you God.”

Positive thinking and reducing negative thoughts should not be construed to mean that you will never experience negative emotions. Sadness, grief and anger will still be experienced in small appropriate doses. The key is to make sure your thoughts are not distorted, and that what you are feeling is an appropriate response to a given situation. For example, ‘I am feeling sad because my dog died.’ is an appropriate response to loss. Telling yourself; ‘I am the worst dog owner and I will never ever find a dog like Scruffy again and I will never ever feel better again because he is gone’ is an example of an unhealthy thought process.

Your thoughts not only influence how you feel about yourself, but they also may have a very real impact on the outcomes that manifest in your life. Research is beginning to demonstrate that our thoughts may actually have creative powers. Whether or not if you think about your dream house, dream job, or dream man long-enough and with enough conviction, you will manifest it; is, in my opinion, beside the point. As far as I’m concerned, creating positive outcomes with our minds is simply a better way to spend an afternoon than worrying about outcomes. And it leads to optimal mental health! Creating specific outcomes may just be an added bonus. Worry is simply using your imagination to begin to create things you don’t want.

Spend some time each day in your creative corner. Decide what you want, visualize it and start creating a whole fantasy world around this idea. Use the down times in your day: lines, traffic jams, computer starting up, teeth brushing, or showering to enter your own personal creative corner.

Thoughts are things. Choose yours wisely.