The Art of Blissful Parenting

Your Own Internal Guidance System

We all have an Internal Guidance System, although not everyone knows that they do, and some people ignore theirs.  What is an Internal Guidance System? It is the part of you that knows your highest choice, and will guide you through your feelings.  It directs you toward creating what you came into this life to create, toward what you want, and away from what doesn’t serve you.  Some people refer to it as their “gut” talking to them.  Others say they are following their “heart.”

            Will it help you make decisions for others’?  No.  It is your own personal guidance system that exists for you and only you. It speaks to you in the language of feelings, desires and inspirations, not questions or pros and cons, which are generated from your head. 

            You use your IGS by being aware of your emotions and feelings.  When you are faced with a decision or a choice, ask yourself: how does it feel when you consider this choice or decision?  Be aware, stop and pay attention. Does it feel like your heart space wants to propel you forward?  Do you have a desire to move ahead with this choice?  Do inspirational thoughts and ideas come forth?  It can feel like there is no other option and that this choice is the only one for you, and it feels exhilarating. If so, your IGS is telling you that this is your highest choice, your next logical step. Or, does it feel heavy, negative and fill you with doubt?  Does it feel like you SHOULD do it rather than you WANT to do it? This is your Internal Guidance System communicating with you as well.

               After we become comfortable with using our own IGS, we can teach our children how to use theirs.  Young children are keenly aware of how they feel.  If we can teach them to know what their feelings are indicating to them, we can help them transition into puberty, the teenage years, and adulthood knowing they harbor everything inside of themselves to create their ideal lives. When they are conscious of using their IGS they will never feel they need to rely on others or any external forces to create what they want.  We do a great disservice to our children in our society by teaching them that their answers exist within other people and other things. This is an illusion and goes against the natural laws of our Universe.  

We teach this illusion to our children by telling them that we know better, and that we have the life experience to guide them.  Well-meaning parents believe they know what is best, and yet this is not in the best interests of a child when we strip them of their own guidance.            Children intrinsically know on all levels what they want and what is best for them.  I am not suggesting that as parents we do not guide and teach our children, but in addition I recommend that they be encouraged to use and be aware of their own IGS. As a matter of fact, you will be using your own IGS to help you with all aspects of your parenting, because parents that are using their own IGS can more easily allow their children to use theirs. Keeping kids safe is one thing, knowing their path is quite another.  

By teaching your children to follow their IGS you teach them to trust their first impulse of action, ie., those quiet, subtle impulses they receive when  paying attention; those ideas and desires that are calling on them to move forward.  Over- thinking choices and not trusting what initially presents itself is an example of not using your IGS.  Your “gut” feelings are accurate when it comes to which path or choice to take, they are your higher self, speaking to you, but your thoughts can talk you into or out of them.

Teaching your kids to make their own choices, even if we as parents don’t agree, helps them fine-tune their IGS.  Holding the highest vision for your children, the highest vision being what you see and believe they will beautifully create for themselves. On an energetic level you can facilitate this for them by imagining and believing that they can do this. You will “Hold “the space for them, which means allowing them to create it for themselves simply with your support. We are all here to express our freedom and children intrinsically know this. We came to live our highest joy and to have the freedom to create our own paths. Take joy in your child’s freedom, not their compliance.  

There will be times when your children will make choices that don’t appear to you to be their highest choice.  These choices, although they may seem to be bad, are an important part of their evolution.  A child, or any of us, for that matter, cannot know what they want until they see and experience life fully, which includes experiences they don’t want. Part of any child’s learning includes sifting through the choices and desires in their lives to create what they want, by learning to listen to their interior world. This comes with practice.

If we, as parents, can guide our children through the processes of learning without our judgment, teaching them to listen to their IGS, we will truly contribute to their growth.  We must first remove the label of something being good or bad. 

Allowing your children to experience their own consequences isn’t easy or fun, but enhances your freedom because it literally frees you from the need to fix things for them.  Saving your children from life’s trials and tribulations holds them back, and is only a temporary Band-aid.

Our first impulse as parents is to save and defend, but with practice, we can stand beside our kids an allow them to grow through their choices and learn to really tune into, and follow their Internal Guidance System.