Healing: A Conversation

22. What You See, You Own

"We cannot blame others for our predicaments, for it is I who hath made it so." (I hear myself say this, half-awake).

"Look around. What do you see? A life of woe? Or a life filled with adventure? This is what I mean: Take a life, fill it with people of different sorts, an environment that is not too challenging: a bed, a room, a place to cook food and eat, a place to generate thought and self-reflection, a place to strengthen the body and relax the mind, a place of commerce to generate the resources with which to acquire the means for satisfying your needs. What else is there in this life? Relationships. Oh, relationships. That's where this all gets mucked up. You must learn to relate to others and eventually understand and ultimately love others in this life. How hard is that? As it turns out, it can be very hard, depending. It is the depending that is up to you.

"Depending on your particular version of life, your need and want of growth for your soul, you may set up a life where relationships are either easy or difficult, serially challenging or magnificently wonderful. Resources may be scarce or unbelievably abundant. You may set up for just a little growth or full-on graduation where you will be tested in every subject. Depending. The variables are there to manipulate. A desire here. A fear there. All in all, a mechanism to create the scenes, establish the conflict, and go. Look around. Have you not imagined the very life you are presently in? Or nearly it, because in the desiring or fearing, God has a place in the manifestation and he may see it differently. The end will be the same, perhaps not the appearance of it, the rolling out. There are always surprises.

"That boss you created is there to help you with your self-esteem, the fight for your self-respect. The partner you are with, to back it up at night. You will always be creating the life you are in, for thought is a powerful thing. It commands a response. It demands attention to your urges as a soul. So look around and celebrate your urges, as difficult as life may seem, for you are ready for change, a curing of the soul. Here it is, now, demanding your attention, working you through this change, and tomorrow all will be different, accomplished.

"Celebrate in your heart the hardest tests; their passing will reap great rewards. And as you look again, you will see things shift, as in a puzzle, when the puzzle piece has been found.

"Do not cry out the unfairness of life, for you have deemed it so."

"Just what is the purpose of debilitating illness? Why did I want to create such a hardship for myself?"

"It could have started out a simple desire–one small change–that ultimately manifested in this disease state, because you weren't satisfied with small changes. You kept thinking on and on of what you want to become, and that led to a confluence of changes with bigger consequences and illness was the chosen path for you to achieve your ends. Are you not different now in your outlook, softened in heart and hardened in resolve to serve a deeper part of human life? At one point, you wanted to give up this life all together and we complied with that desire until you changed your mind again. Do you see how that came about? A series of small changes that became the 'perfect storm'? And now you have slowed your thought processes, the flow of change, to take in what is. Take it in. You own it. All of it. It is not so terrible, is it?"

"No, I'm surprisingly happy about my life now. It is deeper. I have whittled it down to the basics-as with my relationships. No more trying to be. I know who I am. What a relief! Though with some aspects I wish would go away. But the fact is I am living and learning love-self-love, God love, relationship love. Everywhere love. I wouldn't know this without experiencing God love and the love of a few to carry me through."

Conversation 22-What You See, You Own Discussion

Here is another chance to look at your life. What have you created? I mean this seriously, for you have desired it, either as it is or some facsimile of it. God has intervened in your desires all along and perhaps what is, is not to your liking, but does it not serve a purpose as it is? You know from reading thus far that I was not happy with the result-illness, debilitation, pain, etc.–but it served a purpose (several, which we have discussed). The fact is we cannot get around creating. What we think, what we say aloud to ourselves or to others, how we act, react, has an impact on the universe (the Universal Divine Substance). If you want it differently, do differently. (only part of the discussion is presented)