Fairytale Love

On the Way to Happily Ever After

The story goes like this: Once upon a time, two perfectly matched people got together. Despite misfortune, they pulled out all the stops, didn’t hold back, risked, surrendered, had great sex, never got bored, and lived happily ever after.

Sigh. If only it were that easy. Why is it tempting in a relationship of any kind to become complacent, jaded, critical, hurt, or angry? No one expects to experience mayhem or hurtle towards devastatingly destructive futures when we initially pledge our undying fairytale love to each other. The reality is that all couples will experience conflict at some point. It’s when unresolved conflict, criticism, contempt, and lack of connection creep in causing disappointment and despair, that the nightmare scenario of an unhappy break-up occurs, brutally destroying dreams and often negatively affecting self-esteem, health, confidence, and even financial standing.

Fairytale Love turns make-believe into “we believe we can make it.” With playful transformational tools and proven behavioural-change techniques, you can enrich the love that was there at the beginning, deepen your connection, and strengthen your relationship so that it’s healthy, harmonious, love-filled, and lasting. Through affirming, apology, praise, affection, constant care, some miraculous thinking, and a few behavioural adjustments, your dream love can and will return.

Most people just want the same thing. We want to be validated and loved.

We want to see our loved one’s eyes light up when we enter the room. We want to know that we can disagree and not be abandoned. We want quality company and as little stress as possible. We want safety and security, compromise and honesty. Sometimes we want it to come with the swish of a magic wand, rather than having to work at it. Life is too short to spend too much time lost in the dark woods, not feeling good inside. This book gives you the magical tools to fix what’s busted. It contains solutions and guides you into creating the kind of positive change needed to maintain the love you have and recover everlasting love. It will make it possible for you to choose to see each day as an opportunity to drench one other in kindness.

Just like in fairytales, ordinary life needs imagination. Fairytale Love is less about stereotypes of damsels in distress and men saving the day. The following pages are meant to encourage, entertain, delight, and enlighten. Get ready to invent a successful love story, create a wonderful and wild life full of vast riches, and do legendary deeds.

Fairytale Love encourages you to explore and gain insights around why you act in the ways that you do. It teaches you to communicate in a real, respectful, uplifting way, and it playfully lists ways to keep love alive. It will get you questioning your thoughts, feelings, behaviours, values, and beliefs, and just like in fairytales, it’s worth considering aspects such as: Is the king or queen fair, does it pay to be grumpy, and what on earth do you do if the wolf knocks at the door? Fairytale Love is about gallantly following your irresistible, passionate path, even if it means looking hard for the breadcrumbs of hope in a seemingly impenetrable forest. Whilst on your journey, find as much delight along the way as possible, and be guided by a swish or two of my magic wand to unlock the secrets of forever after.

All of the advice contained within, really works. It has been tried and tested by couples in search of relief who have been brave enough to quest and uncover their concerns in therapy with me, over the past twenty-five years. Not only did nearly all of them discover that most problems are solvable, but their romances renewed, fluttered, flourished, and brought them happiness and harmony. There are many reasons why things go wrong, and not enough guidance available on how to make love work. Who teaches you to be a good partner? Where do you learn to love? How do you slay dragons? Most of us learn from what we see, and we could do better. Fairytale Love will give you wings to rise above your tangled troubles.

Help is at hand, whether you are already in a great relationship, wanting to know how to maintain the magic, or struggling to delve through difficulties like:

• being obsessed with needing to change your beloved;
• expending too much energy attempting to sway your partner into your way of thinking and feeling;
• anxiously over-focusing on others;
• being overloaded from taking on too much responsibility;
• nagging or whining or being nagged and whined at;
• feeling powerless and negative;
• feeling stuck and a little shocked that things haven’t gone the way they were meant to;
• becoming tired of competing for affection and attention;
• feeling insecure or being evasive;
• seething with resentment or self-righteousness;
• being domineering or dishonest;
• trying to avoid yet another marriage meltdown;
• wanting to simply give up;
• having constant arguments with no resolution;
• acting critical and contemptuous;
• feeling sexually frustrated or liable to stray; and
• noticing a deterioration in communication.

Even if your frustration is simply that you can’t find the right way to get the end result you want, Fairytale Love will help. Who couldn’t do with a wise fairy godmother? Sometimes all you need is a gentle reminder, a refresher course, and some simple guidance on how to tweak things so you get a better outcome. The great thing to remember when things aren’t going so great, is that:

• Beliefs can be challenged and changed.
• You deserve to live your life fully.
• You are worthy of love and acceptance.

You can accomplish desired change and reach gorgeous goals. You can conjure up more and more acceptable and attractive ways of being. You can soak up the love that is already on offer and get the fizzing sexual spark ignited once again. Approaching difficulties in new ways, and adding delight, can transform any frog into a dream partner once again. Being able to communicate thoughts and feelings in responsible, healthy, caring, conscious, and loving ways really does create the most astonishing results.

My, what big ears you have! If you use them to listen, with a compassionate and open heart, and practise being very much in the present moment, then you will be able to see the innocence and preciousness in your partner, and you can unearth the fulfilment you long for.

My, what a big mouth you have! What you contribute, and most especially, how you do it, can enhance your relationship, maintain meaningfulness, make your life easier, and your days lighter.

That’s a lovely basket you have! Sometimes you get what you give, so it’s time to learn to give big and acknowledge and treat that amazing human being you share your life with in a supportively delightful way.

Secret number 1: Fun and friendship are the glue that sticks your love together. It’s time to live like you are emotionally alive.

Couples that stay together, definitely play together. They fool around in more ways than one! When love and friendship are strong, your beloved will believe in you, even in the moments you forget to believe in yourself. That’s a powerful love to have. Live and love in an enriching way and your health and relationship will reap the rewards. Blow your curiosity wide open and get ready to work your laughter lines. Take in what you need and let the rest go.