Lady of the Moonbow

A Meeting at the Cauldron As I get comfortable in my favorite cushioned chair, I hold the intention to receive, bravely opening to whatever will happen. I’m delighted when I’m joined by a presence I’ve known most of my life, the goddess Brigid. She lives in my genes from my Irish lineage and has always hovered nearby, even when I wasn’t aware of her. I also know her from the bedtime stories my grandma, Lula May, told me when I was a child. Brigid is dressed in an emerald green cape and a golden crown. Her age is a mystery, but her luminous essence is radiating love to me and I feel safe as she regards me with warm compassion. The strong will and fire that emanate from her fill me with awe. I know Brigid as my sister, my beloved aunt, a guide, my friend, and much more. This is no ordinary vision: it’s Divinity in a female form. In this trance we are together under the old oak tree on my childhood Kansas farm. Brigid gently leads me to a cauldron that my mother and other ancestors used long ago to make soap, dye fabric, and sometimes stew a big pot of soup. The cauldron on our farm had a very busy life. Now Brigid encourages me to come close and look inside it. The churning liquid within it contains my life story. It’s my own inner cauldron stirring with musings, memories, emotions, passions, visions, events, and long-forgotten experiences. As I approach seventy, I realize I’ve lived a long while and gone through a lot, but to see it all churning in this iron pot is a little daunting. Gazing into this antique pot, I see that things have been constantly cracking, sizzling, and dissolving in my world. At times it has gotten quite turbulent. Clearly this has been the pattern of my journey: a process of constant change, letting go of lots of things and enjoying exciting new beginnings. There have been moments of delight and others that brought me to my knees. I’m amazed that I’ve made it through and am still here. Realizations come to me through stories, meaningful symbols, insights, and primitive pictures. I recognize them all as images that have fed me during my inner processing. There are flashes of trouble, rebellion, missteps, fantastic ideas, and loads of creative endeavors. I see moments that confused me greatly, along with many contradictions—all of it adding up to the whole of me, making me who I am today. As I watch, I see myself as a woman whom others have thought eccentric, possibly insane, even a bit dangerous, while I’ve always felt I was quite ordinary. I consider all these moments dear to me and also teachers of lessons I’ve learned or still need to learn. Now I look back at Brigid. Why is she here today and what does she want from me? How is my life about to change? Because whenever she appears, magic happens! She lovingly smiles and reminds me that she is a muse for creative endeavors. She says she wants me to share my journey with others because it’s a journey that has moved me away from traditional roles and my religious upbringing. My roots are deep but I’ve also traveled different roads than my recent ancestors did. It hasn’t been a straight line but a circuitous path of ever-deepening layers of awakening. Brigid tells me she wants to be known by all her faces. She acknowledges that God is far beyond gender, of course, and she’s not here to fight with the male God. She just knows that the world, especially women, need her story, too. Her feminine attributes, such as being able to receive, trust, allow, and participate more fully in relationships, are missing sorely amidst the discord and fighting that are so pervasive in the world. She knows it has been my life mission to explore some of these other ways of living and relating. Brigid promises to help me share my experiences of leaving the more rigid masculine path and discovering another ancient way that called me out of numbness into a rich zest for life. By expanding from purely head knowledge to include the knowledge of my heart, I started to connect with the expansiveness of creation. In addition to prayer, studying texts, and sitting in silence, I’ve discovered ways to embody God through dance, laughter, movement, relationships, and celebrations filled with joy. My seriousness has given way to more playfulness and lightness. While real answers have often come, I’ve also learned to live more easily with not knowing. Brigid promises to help me reexamine the darkness I experienced in the past and, by my sharing, give hope to others. As I retrace those steps she will be there when I feel lost, lonely, and hurt. She’ll embrace me and open me to even more healing, discovery, love, and transformation. Brigid raises an eyebrow and asks me if I’m willing to try this. With trepidation, I accept the challenge. I know I can only share my personal journey and what has helped me. It’s not the way, but it has worked well for me. It hasn’t been a traditional path but it has been one of heart as I’ve lived my life in an intimate, experiential manner. Others are probably more confident of their beliefs and path, but I have relished the spontaneity and the many surprises along the way. Surrounded by Brigid’s palpable energy I feel hope, and where there’s hope there can be action. I’m ready to go forward with her. As I return to this world, I stretch and touch the floor to ground myself. I sit quietly and think more about what I just experienced and what I want to share about my life. As I am used to doing, I pick up a notebook and start writing. This book is the result.