Faced with a devastating diagnosis of cancer in 2015, I knew it was connected to my past. Had my childhood belief about my own mortality come to pass? My relentless struggle to escape the shadowy world of abuse, mental illness, addiction and tragic loss created lifelong struggles and cancer threatened to bring it all back.
Wanting nothing more than to flee my wretched youth, I found reprieve through my psychic gifts and “jumping” out of my body. As my paranormal abilities strengthened, so did my father’s desire to control me.
Mama knew about Daddy’s late night visits, but very little was expected of her because of the Schizophrenia. Even in her own psychotic world, Mama “knew” things. She chose to turn her back on me for reasons I could not understand while she prioritized the safety of my siblings.
Daddy tortured my oldest brother and hero, Ricky, until he ran away. Freddie, institutionalized with cerebral palsy, escaped life in our God-forsaken family. Catherine, who was sickly and scared of her own shadow, hid in the closet during Daddy’s most unbearable attacks on me. Luke, the youngest, was most tuned into my psychic abilities and also exceptionally gifted.
Savagely beaten at age sixteen, I was physically ejected from my home. Clothes strewn on the front lawn, I had to suddenly find a place to live and a way to support myself. The excruciatingly lonesome journey back to myself consists of a myriad of heartbreaking relationships, bizarre paranormal experiences and harrowing twists and turns taking me from the mystery of old New Orleans to the sandy beaches of San Diego.
Lessons learned in the darkest of times bring the greatest light.