Why Did Daddy End His Life? Why Did He Have To Die?
A Suicide Bereavement Book For Children and Parents
by
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Children’s Book Excerpts.
....Now Daddy is gone. Why did he have to end his life? Why did he have to die? I just can’t believe it. It hurts to think it’s true. Can my Daddy really be gone? I miss my Daddy and I remember him, but I’m scared I’ll forget him a lot. I wish he was here. I wish he had stayed. I want my Daddy back.
…..Now Daddy is gone. Why did he have to end his life? Why did he have to die? I’m mad at you Daddy and I miss you! It’s not just me, but everyone. We hurt because you’re gone. I really miss you Daddy, but they say it’s okay for me to be both happy and sad. That it’s okay to think about other things and to still have fun and to play.
Parent's Guide Excerpts.
Losing someone to suicide can be deeply traumatic and confusing. As adults, we may struggle to make sense of how we feel, what we should think or say, and even how we should behave. Due to their limited life experiences and need for security and predictability, it can be just as difficult for children, if not harder. Common concerns and questions that many parents and caregivers have are explored further in this guide, such as: • Fears of disclosing the suicide. • How to talk about or explain the suicide. • How to answer difficult questions. • Deciding how much information should be disclosed, and • How to respond if your child becomes suicidal.
This guide is by no means a comprehensive therapeutic manual. The ideas that follow, however, can help you, as a parent or caregiver, to know whether you are taking the best approach for supporting your child, and provide a better idea on when to seek professional help. By reading this book to your child, you will be letting them know you are willing to talk about suicide and that you are open to listening to them...
Common Questions That Parents Ask.
1) Should I Even Tell My Child About The Suicide? Parents often ask me if they should tell their child about the suicide. The short answer is, yes! When done correctly, disclosure will help your child grieve properly. Not disclosing a suicide and failing to offer open communication about their loss, could lead to serious negative consequences, as talked about in the next section. However, please know, that immediately after a suicide, most parents do not have much time to digest what has happened, let alone figure out if or what they should tell their children. Talking to a child about suicide is not easy, but if done correctly, it will allow your child to grieve properly and fully, and will reduce their own future risk of suicide. What Are The Risks From Non-Disclosure? When children are not told about the suicide, many of them will feel that something is “off” or “not right.” This can leave them second guessing what they are being told and feeling as though they are being left out. This can create feelings of isolation and confusion, as well as unnecessary distance between your child and the people they depend on for support and guidance.
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About the Book
This book, which is written for children between the ages of five and twelve years, provides a resource that parents and caregivers can use to support and guide their children through the difficult process of suicide bereavement. Explaining suicide is not a task that parents are usually prepared for. Parents and caregivers often feel lost and overwhelmed at the prospect of having to discuss suicide with their children. Written from the perspective of a child, this illustrated story provides a fictional character for children to relate to. The story guides children through the difficult emotions they may feel, but often find difficult to express. It ends by reassuring children that they can survive the pain of their loss, even though it currently feels unbearable. Parents and caregivers should read this book with their children. This book provides a means to explain suicide and suicide bereavement in a way that children can understand, while also giving children permission to talk openly about their loss. The goal is to increase the sense of connection between parents and caregivers and their children and to help children feel understood and supported. In the supplementary parent’s guide, the author answers some of the common questions that arise for parents and caregivers, and covers specific examples of how they can respond to their children when discussing the suicide.
About the Author
Samantha Pekh, M.A., is a Registered Psychologist, a Certified Traumatologist, and an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) practitioner. Through her private practice, PsychSolutions, Inc, Samantha supports children, adults, and families through their losses and painful experiences. After a loss to suicide, she has found that many families struggle in finding the right words to explain suicide and in knowing how to support their children in age-appropriate ways. This children’s book was written to meet the needs families and children who have lost a loved one to suicide. For more information, view Samantha’s educational videos and articles by visiting samanthapekh.com or psychsolutions.ca.